Saturday, April 14, 2007

The End of an Era

Sadly my neighbours are going to need to find another source of their spring entertainment. You may remember this post from last year. You know…the annual ‘Stretch as tall as you can to cover the stove vent with Duct Tape’ event which has been happening at my home every spring for ummm…11 years! Yes, you read that right, 11 years. Did I buy a ladder in any of those year? Nope! Did I learn any new techniques to make this job easier? Nope! Did I even for 1 single year think to put the duct tape up prior to hearing wings a flappin in my vent? Ummm…that would be nope again!

So this year I once again gathered my trusty supplies together:
- Duct Tape…check!
- Scissors…check!
- Broom…check!
- Camera…nope…this is last year’s pic

I was ready. I was set. Look out birdies…here I come! Monday evening after teaching I made my way to the backyard to begin the calculated application of adding duct tape to a vent 8+ feet above my head! Uh oh…problem #1. The sun has begun to make the plastic vent very, very brittle so it took a number of tries to get the tape to stick but eventually…success. Ahhh….mission accomplished for one more year!

I thought...

Tuesday I’m teaching and what do I hear? Dem birdie wings a flappin in my vent again! Whaaaaat? Opening the 3 sliding doors and 5 locks the builder installed thinking I wanted to live in Fort Knox, I peek my head out the door and what do I see? Problem #2 - Dem birds have gone to ‘Duct Tape Removal School 101’ and that tape is a flappin in the breeze just like dem dere birdie wings and...listening very carefully...I was sure I could hear dem birds a laughing at me!!! Taking back the control, I flip on the fan above the stove (all the time hoping I don’t have feathers floating down having created birdie fricassee) and decide I’ll deal with it the proper way…the correct way…the way I should have in the first place 11 years ago. Call 911 DAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDD!!!

I pick up the phone and begin with the words I know will get his attention….How long can I leave the stove fan on before it overheats and starts a fire? Fire? Yup, he’s listening and probably thinking to himself, ‘What has she done this time???’

I explain my situation and Dad realizes that since those birds can now remove the duct tape (after 11 years of practice, who couldn’t?) that this year was the year to do something about the situation.

So, soon after I’m finished teaching my own personal cavalry drives up with a ladder (phew!) and plans to rid me of the birdies for good. He scurries up the ladder, measures the vent and promptly exclaims – this vent is huge! Yup….it’s huge…it’s birdie size! No wonder dem birds like it! We measure it and make our way up the street to Canadian Tire. Sure enough it’s not a standard size so we can’t replace the one that is there and need to go with ‘Plan B.’

What is Plan B? This is. It’s a pest cover that is applied over the vent. We head home, I rev up my cordless drill that I received for Christmas and up the ladder goes Dad.

I’ve now learned what it is I don’t like to hear. What is that you ask? It’s ‘Ahhhhhhh’ when Dad is up a ladder. Unfortunately I do hear 'Ahhhhhh' and flip around to see him flying off the ladder heading for the ground about 5 feet below him! Oh noooo! Thankfully he was able to push himself off the ladder when he realized he was losing his balance, land on his feet then roll into a ball. OK – now that we’re both much grayer than 10 seconds earlier and shaking like leaves and contemplating needing 'Depends' I ask him if he’s ok. Yup! Phew!!! Thank you Lord! A bit shaken but all in all, just fine.

The pest box is now up, the vent caulking replaced and with Dad safe and sound with 2 feet on the ground I decide to whine just a bit and see if together we can accomplish another little fix-it job I have up my sleeve.

Part of the main floor redo besides painting is to install a large mirror I’d purchased last week. Surprise, surprise…I’d picked up the drywall hangers needed to hang the mirror while we were at Canadian Tire! Dad and I decided to give it a whirl. After only 2 trips to my neighbour’s place to borrow a level and drill bits we were all set!

Before you knew it the mirror was in place and Dad was striking his ‘Vannah pose’ showing off his handiwork!

Gotta love a man who even does windows! Is it any wonder I’m still single when I want a guy just like my dad? They’re not easy to come by and I’ll wait as long as necessary to meet him.

THANKS DAD!!! Couldn’t have done it without you!

PS - Note to self: Go outside and get scissors off window ledge. You think I’m kidding right? Ummmm nope! I give you Exhibit A! (Discovered at 10:30 last night when I was wanting to open a new bag of milk. Hmmmm…bagged milk. Now that’s a whole new blog entry as I don’t think many places buy there milk in bags. Only in Canada, eh?!!!)


  1. Hehhe...funny post. Your dad and I should start a handy dandy Canuck-lower 48 fix 'em up cable show! (Glad he wasn't hurt). He's quite the saucy one in front of that mirror!

    Bagged milk? My brain is itching.

  2. Whew! I'm so glad Dad is okay after the tumble.

    I believe that the spring post last year was the first time I read your blog. At the time I didn't leave comments, but I thought that you needed a cover like we have. Now a year later and it is done. :)

    Bagged milk? That is a new one. Hey! Don't forget the scissors this morning! :)

  3. Too funny!!! We have the same problem here and Joel has had to web over our dryer duct as well.
    I didn't realize that bagged mik was a Canadian thing.

  4. You're a lucky gal to have such a good handyman daddy. I was worried when I got to the falling off the ladder part. Geesh!

    And bagged milk is definitely not an American thing. We need a photo please.

  5. Glad to hear your Dad is OK. I cringed seeing him on the ladder. Boy he sure is handy. How funny seeing the scissors.

  6. That post is too funny... glad you finally got the bird trap fixed! I remember bagged milk from when I was a kid, it's what my mother always bought... we're milk carton people here, no bags. I find it odd when I see milk in plastic containers - cartons and bags I'm good with!lol


  7. Very funny post! Love the picture of your dad! He is so cute posing by his finished mirror!

    Bagged milk 101...milk comes in a bag with 3 small bags inside. Throw one small bag into the plastic milk holder...snip off the end of the bag and VOILA!

    Might have to show pictures of this Catherine to our friends to the south....

  8. LOVE this post!! I really needed this smile today!!

    Bagged milk!!! It's been YEARS since I've seen them!! We don't have them out west here anymore!!

  9. Well that was entertaining! Had all the right elements for a blockbuster movie! Thrilling, suspence, humour, drama/action, and we even get to learn something!!! Glad no-one was injured though! Can I borrow you Dad?!!!

    Bagged milk? Is it powdered, you have to mix it with water? Or is it straight from the cow, into the bag?!!!

  10. First off, I am glad that your dad is o.k. from falling off the ladder - as I was reading my heart began to race...I am good now!

    Great job on the vent cover and the mirror - You are lucky to have a great dad to do that for you!

    As for bagged milk - I didn't know it was a Canadian thing...I thought everyone had bagged milk!

    Don't forget the scissors...go now!

  11. I am laughing so hard! What a great post, made my day. Sorry it was such a pain for 11 long years, and that the birds finally figured out how to remove duct tape. Props to your dad though! And I'm glad he's not hurt!

  12. Good stuff...glad that your dad is okay.
    You are the funniest!

    Keep smilin!

  13. Ahh, your Dad is so cute! I love it - makes me miss my step Dad :)

  14. Hey I remembered your post last year!!! Glad to hear the problem is now fixed for good and that your Dad is OK!!! I have no idea how I would survive, well get things done without my dad....he is always helping me!!!
    Bagged milk.....LOL!!! I havent seen those in a few years...I miss them!!!

  15. It's great to be able to C.O.D. (call on Dad)!! I fancy myself something of a handy woman but sometimes even a handy woman needs to C.O.D!!

  16. Good ol Dad! Glad he's ok! What does a bag of milk look like?


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