Still a Work in Progress

Sunday mornings we go to church….err, nursery.  You may remember this post from last October when Hannah stayed in the church nursery on her own for the very first time.  It was a first and I was so proud  of her but unfortunately it was also a last.  After that first week she would melt down if I attempted to leave her in the nursery.  After 2 weeks of trying (leaving for 2-4 minutes a couple of times each week to see if she would settle with the nursery workers) and us losing ground at home with her attachment and security, I knew it wasn’t worth it so for the next 4 months I went into the nursery with her.  As long as I was in the room she was happy and ventured off on her own.  An occasional glance my way or a story for me to read and other than that she was happy to be on her own, Mommy just needed to be there. 

Hannah turned 2 the end of February which means she changed nursery rooms too and moved into a class that has a little more structure.  As well as the playtime and snack time, her class now includes music, a Bible story and craft.  She’s totally ready for this so I was hoping she’d also be ready for Mommy to leave her for a bit so that I could go into church.  I have purposely chosen to go to the earlier service so that there is consistency week to week in the ladies who are caring for Hannah.

Wanting to help her with the transition and since I had stayed with her for 4 months, I went into the class with her for the first week.  She did great!  She played with puzzles, the big kitchen set, slid down the slide and lots of other fun stuff too.  It was neat to see her participate in the singing and hear her little voice ringing out when they sang the songs.  Heehee…it’s easy to hear her voice as she's often a bit behind the other kiddos.  This happens in the car too and it’s beyond adorable!  Here’s a little video I recorded just before bed tonight.  (Warning:  It’s a little loud. You may want to turn down your speakers a bit.)

Anyway, she sang, jumped and then followed in line to pick up her little mat and listened to the story.  Although she didn’t offer any answers to the questions the teacher asked she was happy to sit there and take it all in.  I was so proud of her!  Everything I saw gave me hope that she was now ready to stay in the nursery on her own.

As the next week progressed at home we’d talk about Sunday School and how much fun she’d had.  I’d also talk about the following week when Mommy was going to go into big people church while Hannah played with her friends and very soon I’d be back. 

When we arrived at the classroom the next Sunday she walked through the door as I signed her in.   The teachers and I chatted and they reassured me that if she needed me they’d be sure to call my number.  (There are a couple of light up boards in the sanctuary.  Each child in the nursery is assigned a number and if the child is upset their number goes up on the board and the parent leaves the service to care for their child.  It’s wonderful for peace of mind.)  I called out ‘goodbye’ to her and with confidence headed into church.  She had entered the room on her own happily so I was fully prepared that I’d be enjoying a Sunday Service for the first time in a very long time.

Well, Hannah had other plans.  Within about 5 minutes my number went up and soon after exiting the sanctuary I could hear her crying in the nursery wing.  I am SO thankful that her teachers called me as she was quite upset. It makes it easier for me to continue working on leaving her when the teachers are working with me and not afraid to call my number should Hannah need me.  Anyway, Hannah settled very quickly once Mommy was with her and she participated fully in the class.

What was very different this time is that we didn’t lose ground at home in her attachment or security.  She’s ready for this, we just need to work it through.  We were away from church for a few weeks but tried again yesterday morning.  I had hoped the break might do her good and that she’d be ready to let me go.  Ummm…nope!  She cried when I dropped her off and even though I hoped she’d settle with the teachers I was called out of the service within about 5 mins.  I tell you, my girly can get quite upset, quite quickly when she needs me and yesterday, she needed me.

I tried a different approach yesterday and took her into the service with me for about 15 mins. after I’d gone back to pick her up.  My thoughts are that if she knows where Mommy is, maybe it will be a little easier for her to let me go.  She thoroughly enjoyed the music and then we went back to her class together in time for music, story and snack.  Once again, as long as I was in the room she was happy and spent the majority of the class playing with the kitchen on the other side of the room.

I want to continue to work through this and I think this week we’ll add role playing ‘Hannah at Sunday School and Mommy in big church then Mommy coming back’ to see if this helps.  I hadn’t really thought about role playing until I was writing this post.  I know it will get better and together we’ll find a groove that works for us.

Is there anything else others have tried to help transition their adopted children to the nursery?  Yes, as much as Hannah is just my daughter and I don’t think of her adoption often, I truly feel I need to take this part of her story into consideration while we work on her learning to stay in the nursery.   She has lost people twice before who were precious to her (first her birth mother and then secondly her nanny) so I need to make sure she knows this is not going to happen ever again and help her gain the confidence that she can go to Sunday School and play with her friends and that Mommy will come and get her soon.

Another Big Step for Hannah - Updated

Last Sunday Hannah took another big step – she stayed in the nursery for the very first time. 

Now that we’ve been home almost a year I am finally ready to leave Hannah in the nursery.  For attachment purposes I didn’t want to leave her for the first number of months and probably would have started this transition earlier in the summer but our schedule was so uncertain during the summer that I decided to wait until we were going to be at church for a few weeks in a row so that Hannah could get comfortable with the new routine.

The first week I went in with her and stayed while she played but truly she was great and played happily, just looking over every once in a while to see if I was still there.

 

Hannah with her new Sunday School teacher.

Last week I stayed for about 5 mins, said good-bye and then left the nursery.  Hannah did great!!  Mommy cried.  :o)  I tried not to but I looked into the choir and my friends Carol and Karyne were there winking and smiling at me realizing what was happening and that was it….more tears.  This surprised me as I’m so used to leaving Hannah for daycare that I didn’t even consider for a moment that I’d cry when I left her in the nursery.

One of the wonderful things our church has is a number system that flashes in the sanctuary if your child needs you.  Here’s mommy with Hannah’s first number and yes, that’s the soggy tissue tucked in my hand from all the tears I’d shed in the service.

I’d asked them to call me if she cried for any longer than 2 mins.  I’m sure I checked the boards no less than 50 times in the hour I was in the service but my baby girl was happy to be there and did great!

Hannah was excited to see Nana and I when we arrived to pick her up but it was great to hear that she’d had a lot of fun too and didn’t miss me.  As much as I miss her when we’re not together I’m so glad for her sake that she’s comfortable away from me knowing that Mommy always comes back.  Here we’re celebrating being together again.

Way to go Hannah!!!

**Update**

This morning Hannah happily went into the nursery again but part way through the service she needed some mommy time and I looked up to see my number on the board.  I hurried to the nursery and could hear my sweetie from the moment I stepped into the nursery wing.  I went to her door and she was quite upset and reached up for me the moment she saw me.  I scooped up my little lamb and after a few more minutes of tears she began to settle.  She didn’t want to be put down for the longest time but eventually would get down long enough to get a book and bring it back to me so that we could read it together.  By then end she was playing again but I stayed for the entire service to give her the confidence that it was ok to be there.  We’ll try again next week and hopefully all goes well.  Each week we’ll work on this together until Hannah is completely comfortable there.  Step by step….

Hannah's Nursery!!!

The finishing touches are all in place and I am finally ready to share Hannah's nursery with you!

Her actual nursery has a toddler bed in it which she will use later. In the beginning I'm going to start with having her in my room. She will never have slept on her own so it would be quite difficult on her to be placed in a room on her own and I'm also hoping that her being able to wake up and see me there will help with the attachment and bonding we'll be building together. When she's ready I'll move her in here and if she's still in her crib the toddler bed will be moved to the basement for a while.

A sneak in a tiny pic of the 'before' so you'll see where it's come from with a lot of help from Mark, Michelle, Joy and my Dad. Can you tell I prefer to work with others rather than alone?




Without further adieu I give you Hannah's nursery!

A little train made by Auntie Doris.

Wall Words that didn't quite end up like I'd expected so I'm calling them Wall Whispers. They say, 'Such a big miracle in such a little girl' Love that!! (Open the picture and squint real hard and you may see her wall words :o)




Thanks for your help everyone! Together we have created a beautiful, peaceful room for Hannah!

There's A Crib In My Room!!!

Wow! Mark and Michelle were over a few weeks ago and they helped me prepare for Hannah to come home. One of the exciting moments of the day was when we put Hannah's crib together in my room!!

Reading the instructions
When Mark brought this piece up from the basement and placed it against the wall I began to cry. He's like, 'What's wrong? No crying! Miiicccchhhhheelle!!' LOL! Just seeing the crib begin to take shape after having been in the basement in a box for over 3 years, was a little overwhelming. Heh...sorry Mark.
Work in progress
The finished crib
Hannah's name on the wall

Wow....this is the crib where my daughter will sleep!
Thanks for all your help Mark and Michelle!!

We've Only Just Begun.....

Finally, the day arrived. I had avoided it as long as I could. I woke up knowing that yesterday was Day 1. I was overwhelmed. I was scared. I wanted to pull the covers over my head and just wish that it would go away. I wanted to twitch my nose like Samantha on Bewitched but knew that finally I must gather all my courage together and face what I had created. What was this daunting task you ask?

Tidying what is to become Hannah's nursery!!! I'm guessing one glance at this picture helps you understand why I was completely overwhelmed!! I didn't know where to begin but I also have some amazing friends!!

My friend Joy had offered numerous times to come and help me and finally last week I swallowed my pride and decided to take her up on her generous offer. When I emailed her to ask if she'd come over one evening to help out she couldn't say 'yes' fast enough and even offered more than one evening!

Last night at 6:00 we began the daunting task and before 9:00 had made a big dent in tidying Hannah's room. This is a pic of Joy and some of what we moved out of the room. With the exception of the collection that Joy is standing by, the rest was gone before she left. Some was garbage, some stored in the basement and the stuff near her will be donated to a local thrift store that my parent's volunteer at called, 'Bibles for Missions.'

Can you believe she was willing to come again tonight for a second round? Wow! Thank you Joy!! We tidied the closet in the guest room as well as the one in Hannah's room. Check it out....there's carpeting in there rather than stuff, stuff and more stuff!!

There is still much to do but with the help of Joy I'm well on the way! M and M are coming over on the weekend and have offered to paint so my goal is to have as much of this cleaned out as possible before they arrive. It's going to be busy but I can do it. The bigger items I'll enlist the help of M and we'll carry them downstairs together.

Have I mentioned lately that I have THE BEST friends?!!! Truly, their help is appreciated more than they'll ever know and they take daunting tasks and make them not only doable but fun too!

This picture made me laugh. During the wait for Hannah's referral, when I needed a pick-me-up I'd sometimes purchase diapers and guess I might have bought more than I'd realized. I should be set for a few weeks right? :o)

As I was preparing this post I also thought of this:

Note to self: Don't show Hannah the 'Before' picture of her room or I'll never convince her as a teen to keep her room tidy!!!

2 September Referral Batches!

We were plesantly surprised this week when CCAA sent out a 2nd batch of referrals during the month of September! The first referral batch arrived on September 2nd and the second one on September 29th! Yay!! If this is what the Olympics does then I'd say bring them on again!

This last batch they matched 6 more days of LIDs which now takes us to files that were logged in up to and including February 15, 2006. 6 more glass pebbles made their way from the jar on the left to the one on the right! That means there are now only 36 LID's to be matched and then I will see sweet Hannah's face!! If things remain as they have been for a long time now, with an average of 6 LID's per month of referrals I'm currently guesstimating an April referral! A-P-R-I-L!! Yes, if you've been following my guesstimations for a while you'll notice that the date is moving closer rather than further away. Too cool!!

I cannot begin to tell you what this kind of news does for my heart!! I can acaually allow myself to begin thinking of Hannah's nursery and how I want to decorate it. I have a few bits and pieces of things that will go in it but don't have a real plan for decorating. Guess I'd better start looking around more seriously so that I can formulate a plan.

Does anybody have any suggestions of good places to look online to see nursery ideas? So far the pieces I have are a carpet,

picture and

ceiling fan. (Thanks Grandma and Grandpa for the picture and ceiling fan!)

Cannot believe I'm finally looking into starting Hannah's nursery! Wheee!!! What fun winter it's going to be!

Gifts for Hannah

Yesterday Norma and I enjoyed a great day together as we travelled into Toronto and visited our friend Julie. Two years ago we also did this and even though Julie and I have had a few opportunities to get together since then this was the first time Norma was able to come along again. Good times! How fun it was to see Julie's daughter who has grown and changed into an adorable little girl! So cute and so creative. She entertained herself for much of our visit being creative with a shoelace and making jewellery for all of us over and over again.

Over the years Julie has also been amazingly generous with Hannah and has shared much of what her little cutie has outgrown. Yesterday she added:

a lamp for Hannah's nursery,

a cute little beanbag chair that matches the nursery bedding she gave Hannah last year,

a beautiful Pottery Barn Kids quilt for Hannah's big girl bed and...

a Learning Tower! I have secretly wanted a Learning Tower since I heard about them a couple of years ago and even moreso after spending time with Mary-Mia and the girls and seeing Rose and Marie in action on their LT. Hey BobBob, when you and Wela are 'in the neighbourhood' wanna stop over and pop some wheels on Hannah's new LT? LOL! You're always welcome!

Julie, thank you again for ALL you've shared with Hannah! Your generosity is GREATLY appreciated! Cannot wait for the day when our visit includes my introducing you to Hannah! You're a special friend and I'm so thankful for you.

Amazing Generosity Once Again!

Once again my friend Julie was amazingly generous in contributing to the growing collection of items awaiting Hannah! She and I shared a great lunch together enjoying one another's company as well as her daughter's fun chatter. I hadn't seen them in a little over a year and it's amazing what a difference a year can make. Her little one is adorable and it's such fun to hold conversations with a toddler!

It was a great time for Julie and I to catch up and she also had some wonderful items for Hannah. I have a crib for her that Carol and I picked up during a quick border shoppy trip in May of 2006. It makes me laugh (and almost cry) to see that in the post I mentioned waiting until February of 2007 to begin Hannah's nursery. Alas I won't even be starting her nursery in February of 2008! Possibly in the spring? Or, more likely summer/fall. Ok...enough of the wait, let's get to the wonderful gifts!

This will be Hannah's crib bedding. It's a one-of-a-kind set that was made by Sarah Richardson of HGTV. The really neat thing is that I'd never even heard of Sarah Richardson but the night before Julie and I got together for lunch I happened to see her show, 'Sarah's House.' Too cool! The colours are perfect too as Hannah's crib will initially be in my room which is also pink and green. I haven't quiet decided on the colours and theme of her 'big girl' room. I'm considering buying a single bed to put in there but am not sure. I have a few accessories for that room but that's about all so far.

Also included with the gift's was a 'Utah Bed' for Hannah! Others may call this a 'Pack 'n Play' but Rose and Marie know it as a 'Utah bed' and if that's the name for those sweeties then it works for us too! It was funny. When Julie pulled this out of her storage room my first thought was, 'Cool! Now Hannah has a Utah bed too!'

There were other assorted items that are much appreciated too. A video monitor which will be a wonderful luxury item. It will be so nice to be able to check on Hannah and watch her sleep without having to navigate all the many squeaks that my floors and stairs make. (If I ever purchase a new home again I'll be sure to screw down the floor before the carpeting goes down!!) There were also crib sheets; fuzzy, soft change table covers and a diaper bag too.

The final gifts are Hannah's first wooden puzzles! I really like doing puzzles and look forward to some fun playtime with her as we work on these together. If you look carefully you'll also see a little plastic linking toy. Julie's daughter took this out of her own toys and asked me to give it to Hannah! Isn't that sweet?

Thank you Julie!! Once again your generosity is humbling. I am so thankful for your friendship and also thankful for your giving spirit. GREATLY appreciated!

Thank you Mystery Mom #2!

As I was going through my picture file yesterday I realized that I'm missed out on posting a picture of this beautiful gift that was given to me by 'R'at the Babe Care Seminar last month.

Isn't this the neatest thing?!! It's the word 'child' made out of a pice of flattened iron. What a unique and wonderful gift! When I put Hannah's room together I'm going to find a special place to put this.

Thank you R! I love it!

1 Year LID Celebration Gifts for Hannah and Mommy!!

Oh what happy times!!! 1 year behind me.... ?? months before me? Praising God for the excitement, peace and love He is providing as I travel this amazing journey to meet the daughter He has waiting for me in China!

Yesterday and today have been wonderful days of celebration! Little things like sharing a coffee with good friends. Norma and I do this almost every day yet I still cherish the time this wonderful friend and I share together each day. After work yesterday afternoon it was coffee and cookies with a dear friend that I sang with for a number of years. I left her home with a song in my heart after sharing wonderful conversation together, and a car full of clothes for Hannah! (I'll post ore about that later.) This morning Joy and I went for coffee and enjoyed starting our day together. (Hmmm...can you tell it's Roll up time? But that is for another post as I have many fun things to share about that!)

Today for lunch my mom, dad, my brother Dave, Uncle Tim and Aunt Chris went to The Mandarin and enjoyed an amazing Chinese buffet lunch together. Still stuffed and it's 5 hours later!

After lunch I picked up these beautiful long stemmed pink roses! Oh, aren't they beautiful?!!! Normally my LIDiversary celebration flowers are small bouquets of flowers but I wanted to do something special to celebrate 1 year of waiting. Wanting to be wise with my finances I prepared myself that roses would probably be out of the question. Can you believe this beautiful bouquet of 1 dozen baby pink, long stemmed roses was $14.99? Yes...you read it right! Norma had mentioned that the A&P near her had a beautiful floral section and I am so she did. I'll be going there again for sure! It won't be roses each month but I'll let you in on a little secret...the next time I treat myself to a dozen baby pink, long stemmed roses there will be a sweet little face peeking through the petals!!!

Today I celebrated with a treat for Hannah's room too. Sharon and I found this adorable, fun rug a few weeks back but I decided I wanted to wait for a special occasion to buy it. Yes...today was the day! I took it home and put it beside the picture Mom and Dad had bought Hannah last month and the colours complimented each other wonderfully! (Just a side note - If you look at the wall behind the picture, that's the old colour and the wall behind the flowers is the new colour. Still am not finished but have 3 walls done and am very happy with how it's coming.)

Thank you so much for all the good wishes and congrats that were sent my way this past couple of days. I am so thankful for this place where I can celebrate with friends old and new!

Celebrating 1 year logged in, 1 year closer to Hannah....and friendships!!

Yeah!! They Found It!

This is the adorable picture I was looking for at Target. Love it! I found it in Washington when Dawn and I were there in January but decided not to pick it up due to the size (2 ½’ x 3 ½ ’). Flying home with something that size would have been a challenge on our full flight.

Soon after leaving the US I realized I should have bought the picture. You know when you remember every detail of something and will be looking for an exact replicate of it? That’s what this picture was to me. Oh well, I knew I had another opportunity in front of me. The following weekend I visited with Julie and Tess and we looked for it. (I figured if I found it I could bubble wrap it, check it as a fragile item and hope for the best!) But, nada…couldn’t find it.

When I got home I placed a SOS call to my parents who were driving back from Florida and would be in the states for another 2 days. I explained the picture’s many details (ladybug, daisies, colours, size, price) to my Mom and she wrote them down as they drove home. The really cool thing is that just 2 hwy exits after we hung up the phone they spotted a Target just off the highway. Off they hopped (thanks dad!), made their way into the store and would you believe this was the last one they had in stock? I love it when that happens! Mom pulled out my description and sure enough they knew they’d found the picture. Yeah!!!

Another bonus, Mom was looking for a ‘little treat’ to bring me home so she and dad bought this pic for Hannah’s nursery! (Shhhh….don’t think dad knows that yet! ;o) Wow!! Now that’s some treat!

Thanks Mom and Dad!!! Glad you had a great trip…and thanks for the picture!