Wow!!! What a Difference Just 4 Days of Private Swimming Lessons Made!

Hannah has been a fish since she was a baby and has always loved the water!  Here’s her first set of swimming lessons when she was just 11 months old.

I normally put Hannah in swimming lessons during the spring session and did again this year.  I was excited when her teacher was a gal from our church.  Hannah swam really well with Rachel so I decided to sign her up for a week of private lessons during the summer, hoping she’d be able to pass the level that she’s been in twice so far and needed to repeat again.

Within minutes….MINUTES last Tuesday things changed and I could tell that this was going to be a great time of learning and growing Hannah’s swimming skills!  Two days before her first lesson we were at my parents and she could swim about 4-5 feet in the shallow end but then would need to put her feet down.  The month before at a friend’s pool she’d begged me to take her water wings off so I did so standing right beside her.  The entire pool was over her head and she quickly slipped a couple of inches the water.  I could see her looking up at me and she wasn’t at all concerned….but she was under water!  LOL!!  I pulled her up and she said, ‘Told you I could do it Mommy!’  Heh….not quite yet my love!

So, I was excited to see what would happen when she had 4, 1/2 hour lessons with Rachel.  They spent the majority of the time at the opposite end of the pool that was often blocked from view by a wall so I couldn’t really see her progress.  I was SHOCKED on Friday when I was able to go down and see her SWIM!  Way to go Hannah!  This is the same little girl who 4 days earlier couldn’t swim more than 4 or 5 feet!

After her big swims back and forth a few times, Rachel took Hannah for a ride in the canoe.

One of the other neat things that happened this session was that the pool was almost empty!  Normally during lessons there are a number of groups in the pool.  This time there were only 6 kids in the entire pool!  That was a neat surprise!

Hannah jumping into the deep end and then swimming to Rachel.  Amazed once again!

I am so thankful to Rachel for all that she taught her.  Unfortunately for us she is moving away in a couple of weeks so we won’t be able to plan any more lessons.  That being said, I’ll sign her up for private lessons again for sure!

In the end Hannah not only passed the level she’d been trying to for 2 sessions but the entire next level too!  Way to go Hannah XiaoFen!!! 

Crocodile – here we come!

Final Day of Preschool

All too quickly Hannah’s year at preschool has drawn to a close.  *sigh!*

She started as a little girl who knew how to sing her A, B, C’s ~ kinda.  What child really knows how to sing the ‘elemeno’ part?  She could only print a few letters and those were all upper case.  She did not know any lower case letters nor could she print any of her numbers.  She now recognizes all of her letters (upper and lower case) and can write almost all of them from memory. 

One funny thing though is that she still does not write her name correctly consistently.  It’s not unusual for her N’s to be backwards and the final H is often left off, or mixed up with extra A’s.   And, when she says her letters out loud when writing her name she calls the H and the A both ‘A’.   Heh…precious memories to capture!

Hannah can count to 29 but then says 20-10 and 20-‘eleben’.  Hee!  I change it up to 30 and she’s off…until she gets to 30-10 and 30-eleben!

There was one thing that surprised (and if I were honest, saddened) me that I noticed at preschool.   She was normally one of the last kids dropped off each day.  There were 16 kiddos in her class so when we arrived many of the activity stations would already have children at them.  For the first number of months (probably until sometime in late April or early May) I would watch her glance around the room and then purposely choose a station where nobody else was.  That surprised me as she is a social little girl with many friends.  As she walked into the class it was not unusual for 2 or 3 of her classmates to run up and say ‘Hi Hannah.’  She’d sometimes respond (something else we’re working on) but then find a place to play alone.  It was hard to watch. 

I distinctly remember the day I dropped her off and she ran into a tent where a few other kids were playing.  I was shocked and it immediately warmed my heart!   I mentioned it to her teachers who were standing nearby and they both said they’d noticed her interacting with her classmates a lot more lately.  I was so thankful!  I noticed the same thing a couple of weeks ago at family day and have also noticed it when I drop her off at Sunday School.  I’m so glad she is feeling more comfortable playing with her peers.  Another way that preschool was a wonderful opportunity for her.

Before school this morning we took a few photos (surprise, surprise!) of her holding a picture taken last September on her first day of school.

My baby is growing up!

Final drop off and yes, Hannah was fine and Mommy was a MESS!

I have dreamed of Hannah attending this preschool at our church since before she was born.  It’s hard to believe this wonderful time has come and gone.  She learned so much but even more her amazing teachers helped her fall deeper in love with Jesus!  They gave her a wonderful first experience at school and taught her so, so much!  Thank you Mrs. Devitt

and Mrs. Hebert! We cannot express our gratitude to you!

I was able to slip away from work in the morning and surprise Hannah at pick up time.  I love her reaction!!!

I was holding it together okay until I saw this!  Yup…the tears started again.  SO precious!!!

Hannah and her little friend Mya.  First day of preschool

and then today.  Sweet little friends!

Hannah!  Mommy is so proud of you!  You have flourished at preschool and learned so much.  Your education has just begun but it’s begun in such a wonderful way! 

Tomorrow night is your graduation and sweetie I just need to warn you  - Mommy will try to keep it together but I’m not making any promises! 

Preschool Pic

Love her 4yo smile where she’s making sure her dimple shows! 

I can’t believe Hannah only has 1 more day of preschool left.  How can that be???  I dreamed for years of sending her to this school and now in the blink of an eye she’s been to orientation, her first day of school and now, the end of her school year is only days away. 

*sigh*  Slow down time….SLOW DOWN!!!

Celebrating a Milestone

Today a milestone was celebrated.  My friend Norma and I joined fellow co-workers celebrating 25 years of service with our employer.  Wow….25 years!  Where has the time gone?

Norma and I worked together for the first time close to the beginning of our careers and a friendship was born that has stood the test of time.  We haven’t worked directly together often but still enjoy hanging out together during breaks and at lunch.  I’m excited for her that she’ll be retiring soon but I sure will miss her!

What’s been the best moment of our friendship?  That’s an easy one.  When she stood by my side in China as Hannah was placed in my arms forever!  Auntie Norma will always be very, very special to us and I will be forever grateful that we shared that amazing journey together.  Love ya friend.

Another Big Step for Hannah - Updated

Last Sunday Hannah took another big step – she stayed in the nursery for the very first time. 

Now that we’ve been home almost a year I am finally ready to leave Hannah in the nursery.  For attachment purposes I didn’t want to leave her for the first number of months and probably would have started this transition earlier in the summer but our schedule was so uncertain during the summer that I decided to wait until we were going to be at church for a few weeks in a row so that Hannah could get comfortable with the new routine.

The first week I went in with her and stayed while she played but truly she was great and played happily, just looking over every once in a while to see if I was still there.

 

Hannah with her new Sunday School teacher.

Last week I stayed for about 5 mins, said good-bye and then left the nursery.  Hannah did great!!  Mommy cried.  :o)  I tried not to but I looked into the choir and my friends Carol and Karyne were there winking and smiling at me realizing what was happening and that was it….more tears.  This surprised me as I’m so used to leaving Hannah for daycare that I didn’t even consider for a moment that I’d cry when I left her in the nursery.

One of the wonderful things our church has is a number system that flashes in the sanctuary if your child needs you.  Here’s mommy with Hannah’s first number and yes, that’s the soggy tissue tucked in my hand from all the tears I’d shed in the service.

I’d asked them to call me if she cried for any longer than 2 mins.  I’m sure I checked the boards no less than 50 times in the hour I was in the service but my baby girl was happy to be there and did great!

Hannah was excited to see Nana and I when we arrived to pick her up but it was great to hear that she’d had a lot of fun too and didn’t miss me.  As much as I miss her when we’re not together I’m so glad for her sake that she’s comfortable away from me knowing that Mommy always comes back.  Here we’re celebrating being together again.

Way to go Hannah!!!

**Update**

This morning Hannah happily went into the nursery again but part way through the service she needed some mommy time and I looked up to see my number on the board.  I hurried to the nursery and could hear my sweetie from the moment I stepped into the nursery wing.  I went to her door and she was quite upset and reached up for me the moment she saw me.  I scooped up my little lamb and after a few more minutes of tears she began to settle.  She didn’t want to be put down for the longest time but eventually would get down long enough to get a book and bring it back to me so that we could read it together.  By then end she was playing again but I stayed for the entire service to give her the confidence that it was ok to be there.  We’ll try again next week and hopefully all goes well.  Each week we’ll work on this together until Hannah is completely comfortable there.  Step by step….

Daycare Fun!

Hannah’s first week of daycare went really well and if I was honest I’d admit that it was better than I was prepared for.  Once again, God answered prayers in an amazing way! 

Here she is all dressed up and ready for her first day.

Here are some of the pics showing what it took to get the one above.  1/30 pics isn’t bad is it?  :o)

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I am so thankful that Ange encouraged us to visit for a number of play dates before Hannah started fulltime and also to leave her a couple of times.  It made this transition so much easier on her.  Mommy burst into tears once she drove away but Hannah was excited to play with her friends!

Hannah’s first day went really well and she did lots of fun things with her friends.

Snack time

Colouring

Ball pit

Slide

Car

Craft time where she painted the picture of an apple using an apple as a paint brush!

Her first piece of artwork which is proudly displayed on our fridge!

Another day this week Hannah came home with a bag of yummy chocolate chip cookies that they had made.  Mmm!

One lesson I did learn from Hannah this week is that there is a definite difference for her between enjoying daycare and dealing with the separation from mommy.  Before this week I always thought that if she was having trouble with mommy being gone that she wouldn’t want to go to daycare.  I was wrong about this.

Last weekend, even before going to daycare but after a week with Grandma and Grandpa, she was very attached to mommy when we were together.  Literally!  We went to a wedding on Sunday and mommy made the mistake of trying to go to the buffet without her.  She was with our great friends whom she knows and loves and whom we’d spent Saturday with but when I left the table she lost it!  I felt so badly for her because even though she could see me 30’ away she went into a deep, sobbing, frightened cry within moments of me stepping away from the table.  I know this cry as I’ve heard it a handful of times but each time it happens it breaks my heart.  In the past it was normally a night-time cry but this time I heard it during the day.  I quickly abandoned gathering my food and went back to the table to scoop her up.  She settled within seconds with her head buried in my neck and arms wrapped tightly around my neck too but in the short amount of time she had been crying it caused deep shudders within her that took a little time to subside.  Poor lamb! 

Monday she had a great time at daycare and in the evening we went for supper with my parents.  It was also a buffet so I took her up with me to get soup but then made the mistake of trying to run up quickly for crackers without her.  She was with my parents and since I was going to be gone less than a minute I didn’t think she’d mind.  I was wrong!!  When I returned to the table she was once again inconsolable and my parents were saddened and somewhat surprised to hear the depths of her cry and have not been able to console her at all.  They were trying desperately to get her out of her high chair as the sounds she was emitting was breaking their hearts!  As soon as I scooped her up she buried her head in my neck, threw her little arms around my neck and squeezed in tight but still continued to sob with such fear that it nearly brought me to tears too.  To know that I had caused this brought on the guilt but it wasn’t about me, it was about comforting and settling my baby girl.  After about 5 minutes the sobbing eased and although the body shudders continued for some time, she was safe, secure and once again by mommy’s side.  As with the day before when this had happened I found myself eating my dinner with a beautiful, protective, soft little arm wrapped securely around my wrist.  She was making sure mommy wasn’t going anywhere without her.

Although Hannah has been happy, happy to go to daycare each day with week and ‘paaaay’ (play) with her new friends she’s also deep down been dealing with our new normal of us being separated for hours each day and dealing with the anxieties that currently accompany it.  Friday was a little tougher for her at daycare as she could be found wandering to the front window and crying out for mommy but Ange would comfort her, draw her back into the activities with the other children and reassure her that mommy would be back. 

Naps are a work in process too as she is used to sleeping in the same room with me during naps and at night.  I am SO thankful that Ange is working with Hannah to establish her new routine rather than following an ‘agenda’ that would probably be the case in a bigger daycare facility.  After the other children are down for their naps Ange takes Hannah downstairs and holds her for her bottle then holds Hannah while breathing slowly and deeply until she falls asleep.  Hmmm…wish I’d thought of this as it is working wonders.  She falls asleep in about 5-10 mins and then she just places her on a sleep mat in the same room she is in.  Hannah is napping around 2 hours each day which is wonderful!!

I am SO thankful for God allowing Ange and I to meet years ago and that He has provided her to care for Hannah!  Thanks Ange!!

While we’re going through these changing times I’m making sure that Hannah and I spend a lot of bonding time together when we are together.  Each night we’ve gone for walks or to a store with her in the Ergo.  Being in a carrier is the way that Hannah feels safest so we’re spending lots of time this way and it’s working well for both of us. 

All this being said, Hannah has done amazingly well with the transition to daycare.  She’s happy to go each morning and there is nothing in the entire world like the feeling I receive when at pick-up she comes running with arms stretched open, saying ‘mamaaaaa’ and wraps those precious little arms around my neck. 

I am forever blessed by this amazing little girl and love her more than words can express!!!

Thank you Lord for once again answering prayers and for Hannah’s transition to daycare going so well!

**Update**

It's now Tuesday of the 2nd week at daycare and reality for Hannah has set in. She's happy, happy to go but the tears when I leave have started. It's SO HARD to leave her when she's crying but I know it's what I must do and that she will settle. For almost 10 months I was the one to comfort her 99% of the time that she was upset and now when she's crying in my arms and clinging to me I have to pull her away and give her to other loving arms. There is nothing more I want to do than to hold and comfort her but I know that if I prolong our goodbyes it will only make it harder. Ugh!!

I know this stage will pass too but it sure is rough leaving her when she's crying, calling out for mommy and reaching for me. Tears my heart strings!! I'm hoping for Hannah's sake (and let's be honest, for mine too) that this is a quick stage and that she's soon ok with me leaving again.

One Year Ago Today My Life Was Changed Forever in the Most Wonderful Way!!! **UPDATED**

(I’ve finally found time to upload my videos of ‘THE CALL’. You’ll find them about half way through this post)

One year ago today my life was changed in the most miraculous, wonderful way!! One year ago today I received the call of a lifetime!! On August 21, 2009 I found out that I was the Mom of a precious baby girl waiting for me in Hunan, China and I couldn’t wait to meet her!!! Hannah Catherine XiaoFen had arrived with one amazing phone call!

I remember many details of that delightful, sunny day and I believe that day will forever be ingrained in my memory! I was at my friend Sharon’s house for breakfast and remember leaving and saying, ‘Today could be the day! The next time you see me I could be a Mom!!’ That being said, all was quiet in Europe where the referrals normally arrived first so truly if I was being honest with myself, I didn’t believe that that would be the day. But a girl could still dream and dream I did!!

I remember skipping down the stairs of her porch and getting into my car, cell phone glued to my left hand where it pretty much was fulltime! There was a smile across my face that nothing could remove and I truly floated throughout the office. I’m not sure how productive I was that day but they understood! Rumor Queen was refreshed numerous times each hour as I eagerly awaited any iota of information pertaining to the anticipated referral batch. Emails were flying and I physically shook each time my cell phone rang.

The morning is a blur but I remember crashing a group of co-workers celebratory lunch who were going to the Mandarin. Norma was part of that group and I just didn’t want to be alone so I went along with them, trusty cell phone always in hand or on the table directly in front of me. I remember chatting with a family at the restaurant who had a 3yo daughter from China with them. I told them I was waiting for my call to arrive any day and they were excited for me and shared some of their experiences with me as we filled our plates with rice and lemon chicken.

I arrived back in the office around 2:00 and upon refreshing Rumor Queen’s page, the first indication of a call being made had just been announced! (I’m getting goose bumps just writing this as I can remember it vividly as if it were yesterday!) I remember trying to do too many things at the same time and not knowing what to do! Call people? Email? Text? Who to call? Too many to call! Calls were being made and suddenly I knew that Monday would be my day as truly my agency, being a Canadian agency, couldn’t possibly receive their package and begin making calls that day; could they??? Wanting to find out, I once again contacted my agency and left them a message. My question to Deborah was, ‘How soon after the US agencies receive their packages do you normally get yours?’ I waited with bated breath for her to call back so that I could relax (yah….right!) and prepare myself for a call the following week.

In reality what happened SHOCKED me beyond belief. At 2:57pm I received the following email from Deborah

*********************************

Hello Cathy,

I have good news – where and when do you want me to call?

Best regards, Deborah

**********************************

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! It was time!!! My call was coming!!!! I was excited, happy, barely breathing, shaking, running in circles, trying to lock up my desk and accomplishing a whole lot of nothing! :o) Thankfully my friend Rachelle happened to pass by my office and she could immediately tell that I was in labour!! Being the good (and trained friend as all my coworkers were) she grabbed my Flip and began recording!

I immediately emailed Deborah back and asked her to call my cell at 3:30pm. By this point that was only 20 mins. away and I had a 10 min walk and drive to get to Sharon and my parents! My first call had been to my parents and then to Sharon as I quickly decided where Sharon worked would be the best place to receive the call and thankfully my parents were only blocks away from there at the time too! God had placed all the right people in just the perfect places to share ‘The Call’ with me!

Here I am attempting to send a quick email to close family and friends letting them know the call was coming.

When my file went to China in March of 2006 I placed beads in a jar. Each bead represented a LID that needed to be matched before I would receive Hannah’s referral. Here I am moving the final bead….Hannah Day was finally here!!!

I raced to the car making a variety of calls and Rachelle was wonderful enough to follow along with me capturing all of the excitement! Thank you Rachelle!

I don’t remember much about the drive to the library other than it was a beautiful warm sunny day. What I do remember is seeing my parents sitting in their car in the parking lot and yelling ‘RUN!’ to them as the call was coming at any moment! Heh, I’m sure we were quite a sight as the 3 of us ran into the library in search of Sharon. We quickly found her and Marian (who recorded this for us…thanks Marian!) and before we could even get settled the phone rang! Here it is! THE CALL!!!

Part I

Part II

There was much celebrating and many tears of joy! God had blessed me with a daughter and she was only 5 ½ months old!!

After leaving the library, the day begins to blur a little more as I remember calling a lot of people to share my amazing news. I’m a MOM!!! Calls took a few hours and there were more tears of joy and shouts of celebration! I think it’s blurred as all I could do was dream of what my daughter might look like but it was so amazing to have answers. Suddenly with one phone call I knew:

- she was a girl

- her name: Yong, Xiao Fen. Soon to become Hannah Catherine XiaoFen

- her age: 5 1/2 months

- where she was living: Dao Country SWI, Hunan, China

- when we might travel: end of October 2009

- when I was going to see her picture!!! One week later…ugh!! SOOO long to wait!

That evening I also signed up for Hannah’s SWI’s yahoo group and began reading the archives. What fun it was to meet other families who had children from DaoXian SWI. (It also ended up being amazing as one of the gals was able to find Hannah’s Finding Ad for me) on the Sunday and it was the very first picture of her I ever saw! Here is the first picture of my precious Hannah, taken within the first couple of weeks of her precious little life.

August 21, 2009 is a day that will forever be one of the most amazing days in my entire life! The Lord blessed over and over again and finally, more than 4 ½ years after I first felt God leading me to adopt from China, I had a daughter and soon she would be in my arms!

Here is her precious referral pics that I saw for the first time 8 days later on Saturday, August 29, 2009.

Today, Hannah at 17 moths holding her referral pic.

‘the LORD has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes!’ Psalm 118:23

Update:
Today Hannah and I spent the day with wonderful friends. At 3:30 we all celebrated and Doris snapped this pic of Hannah and I. Thanks Doris! I year post referral....right to the minute!

Far Too Quickly the Time Has Come…

…for Mommy to return to work. :o( How did that happen? Where have the past 9 1/2 months gone? I will be forever grateful to a government who recognizes the importance of a baby spending time with their parents when they’re first adopted or born yet, being totally honest, part of me is ticked right now that adoptive parents are not granted the same leave as birth parents are. Sure my body didn’t need to heal from giving birth to a child but my precious little lamb’s heart and security were rocked when everything and everyone she knew was removed from her life when she was placed in my arms in China. I hope that this will inequality change in the future and that soon adoptive parents will be granted the same maternity leave as birth parents are. Until then, I can only dream of what another 4 months home with Hannah would have been like. *sniff* I am thankful and forever blessed to have had this amazing time at home with Hannah! We’ve played, sang, read, baked, attended music classes and swimming lessons, played with a whole bunch of friends and SO much more. I won’t for one moment regret the time we spent together as we made the most of every single day. Even quiet pyjama days at home were times of cuddling, reading and getting to know one another. Thankful…oh so thankful!!!

Tomorrow I will do something I’ve rarely done since October. I’ll set the alarm. Yuck!! One of our most precious times each day have been our quiet mornings together just hanging out on Mommy’s bed spending precious time together. Just the two of us before any outside influences were introduced into our days. Oh how I will miss these times and oh how I will cherish Saturday mornings which will allow for these times to be treasured again!

Here are some pics of how we start our days. Ahhhhhh…..love it!!

In China

November 2009

December

February 2010

View Full Album

May

June

July

August

So tomorrow, our new normal begins….almost. This week Hannah’s daycare provider is on vacation so Hannah will be blessed to spend the week with her grandparents. Mom and Dad will arrive bright and early each morning to play with and entertain Hannah until I’m finished work. At that time I’ll race home, run in the door and scoop up my precious lamb and smother her with kisses while trying not the squeeze her too tight! Our evenings will be filled with everything she loves and all too soon I’m sure bedtime will be upon us and the same will begin the next day.

As I write this it’s Sunday morning and I work up feeling sick to my stomach that tomorrow at this time I’ll be getting ready for work and will have to leave her. Ugh!!! I’m very thankful for my job but hate that it means we will have to spend so much time apart from one another. In the past 9 1/2 months we have only been apart a handful of times and the longest being for 3 hours. Tomorrow is going to be hard! I just pray she knows that mommy will be back soon and that I will always, always come back. I can handle the separation (maybe not well but I can do it) but it’s Hannah’s tender heart that I ache for. Please pray with me that this time will not regress her attachment and that she will be secure in knowing that I will be with her again soon. Thanks!

Is it too early to say only 5 more sleeps until the weekend???