OK...Who Stopped the Clock???

How did it happen? For the most part I've handled this wait fairly well but I tell you...this month of anticipation is d-r-a-g-g-i-n-g by!!! I've waited over 40 months for Hannah's referral but suddenly time seems to be standing still and I don't see it getting much better for the next couple of weeks. Oh no!!!

I have a lot to do to keep me busy and have been enjoying doing some things around the house to prepare for Hannah but time itself seems to have stopped. Each morning I wake up and update the picture in the sidebar counting down the days until her referral might arrive and the numbers are getting smaller but two weeks right now seems like an eternity away!!

I'm happy, upbeat and enjoying this time...I'm just ready to see my sweet baby's face and learn about the daughter that I already love so much!!

Family and friends are helping me anticipate this amazing day by being humblingly (yah...that's a word I made up Sharon!) generous. Over the next 2 weeks my sweet baby girl will be blessed by family and friends as there are 3 different showers planned to welcome her! Wow!!! After years of attending showers as a guest it's overwhelming to think that the person the showers are for is my precious daughter and myself. wow.....

So, as these final days as 'Cathy/Catherine' slip by and I excitedly anticipate taking on my new title as 'Mom' I'll continue to love my baby girl, pray for her and trust God for His perfect time to bring us together. You have to know though that my prayers do include a little whining about a quick referral batch! ;o)

For now, these 2 jars on my desk continue to be a visual encouragement of how far I've come and how ohsoclose I am!!



ONE!!!!!

Another Speed Bump!!

Silly me!! When people have been asking about when I anticipate receiving Hannah's referral I've actually been narrowing it down to a month or two. My current answer has been, 'Probably July but possibly June.'

Now, not so much!! Just when I was oh soclose Swine Flu has reared it's ugly head and thrown the world of International Adoption (and many other situations) into a state of unrest. Yes, it appears that CCAA is going to hold referrals for a period of 20-30 days and then re-evaluate the situation.

Can I blame them? No, not one single bit. They lost many precious people to SARS and now I completely understand them wanting to be careful with this newest problem.

When SARS stopped referrals and travel in 2003, CCAA still worked and when they were open to travel again worked very hard to make up for lost time by sending out double batches of referrals. Oh how I hope that happens again this time!

So, I have no answers nor does anybody else. What I do know is that I hopped on this stroller coaster a long time ago and am still on the ride of my life! Oh the stories I'll have to share with Hannah when she gets older! Sure hope she likes roller coasters! I've learned to love them over the past 4 years!!

My heart goes out to Lisa, T and Pug Mama who are all holding pictures of their precious little ones and now don't know when they'll receive their travel approval and green light to go to China. As hard as this added speed bump might be to me, I cannot begin to imagine how hard it must be for those who know who their child is. Hugs and prayers for you dear friends.

Anyone Else Ready for a Group Hug?

Phew...today's news of a probable 2 day referral batch is tough to take! I know it can happen. I know it's happened before but ouch, it stings!

There have been tears here tonight (thanks for the shoulder Bridge) but I know I'm not the only one shedding tears tonight. When I do the math (which you know I do over and over again) a 2 day batch doesn't alter my guesstimation by much but, knowing the larger number of files logged in March compared to February does cause me to feel a little ill. Bridget had the best line when she said, 'Thank goodness February wasn't a leap year in 2006!' Amen!!

I remembember when I first began Hannah's adoption that people talked about it being a 'stroller coaster' of emotions and oh were they right! It feels like I've been on this ride for years...oh wait, I have...but anyway, I'll ride this ride as long as I need to and won't get off until Hannah is with me!!!

Hanging on, ready for the next big hill, twist, turn and loop. Can someone please pass the Gravol?

((hugs)) to all my waiting friends today. We're gonna make it!! Trusting HIM!!!

Mail that Gave Me Goosebumps!!

This first pic dates back to the early summer but due to the awful paperwork challenges my friends in the US were facing I didn't have the heart to post it. Now that the I800/I600 matter seems to be corrected I wanted to share a couple of really exciting pieces of paper I've received over the past few months. Who knew that 'paper' could be exciting?

In July I was advised that Ministry Approval had been granted and I now have until June of 2010 to complete Hannah's adoption. I believe she'll be home long before then but it sure is a great feeling to know that the extension was granted. (When I first started her adoption the provincial approval to adopt was for 18 months so with the delays I needed to update some paperwork and reapply to the ministry twice for reapprovals.) I tell you, there is nothing like reading, 'Once the adoption is finalized, 'ON' legislation recognizes the child as a full member of the adopting family and as such the child is treated in the same manner as all other children of legally constituted families.' Sweet, sweet words during this time of waiting.

Another exciting letter to receive was my agency's recent update letter which always includes a list of families who have their files in China. Check out whose travel group is at the top of the list!! Yes...our LID group is the next one for our agency! Wheee!!! The VERY NEXT time Deborah calls families with their referral calls, one of those calls will be placed to ME!!! It still looks like it's going to be April or May of 2009 when she makes those calls but regardless I'm super excited to see my name at the top of the list!!

Speaking of referrals, the next batch is anticipated to arrive within the next week or so. Bring 'em on!! Friends are very close and will be receiving their referrals this time so I'm ready to celebrate with them!

Toronto Star Article

I received a call from my agency rep on Wednesday of this week asking if I'd be interested in doing an interview with the Toronto Star as they were doing an article on the changing face of International Adoptions.

I was thrilled to be asked and couldn't say 'yes' fast enough! Leslie called Wednesday afternoon and we probably chatted for 15 to 20 mins. She asked questions about when I expected my referral; how long had I been waiting; when had I started the process; why China? and, my thoughts on the wait.

While it was exciting to be interviewed for such a large paper I was also concerned that they might somehow spin things in a way I hadn't meant. They didn't do so and I feel she captured me well.

You can imagine my surprise this morning when I went to the grocery store to find that the article written was the front page story for today!! There was a portion on page 1 of the paper and then a page further on in the first section of the paper was devoted totally to International Adoption and featured 3 different articles!

I believe Leslie gave a very fair view of the changing face of International Adoption. Even I was surprised by her statement that 1/6 couples face infertility issues and are unable to conceive the first year. Wow! That number is much higher than I'd ever realized.

It was fun to read the article and see what she had chosen to write from our interview but I tell you, when I saw Hannah's name in print is was instant tears for me!

I am glad to see that this topic is of such interest and concern and I hope that many who may never had a reason/opportunity to read about international adoption might have learned something today.

Having a tough day...

Hey friends. I know this blog is normally an 'up' and encouraging place and I love that but I also have rough, tough days and this week seems to be filled with those. You know the kind of days when everywhere you look you see bellies full of babies? I'm so happy for these ladies yet at the same time I need to allow myself to be open, honest, vulnerable and say that my arms are aching today to hold my daughter. I love celebrating with those receiving their referrals too (and there seem to be so many right now, Praise God!) but oh how I long for the day when God says, 'Meet your daughter. I've created her especially for you.' I know that she will be worth the wait but I'll be honest that these 3+ years of waiting can be really, really tough at times. Holding tight to Jesus and asking Him to wipe my tears, of which there are many right now. Someday it will be my turn!

O LORD, you are my God;
I will exalt you and praise your name,
for in perfect faithfulness
you have done marvelous things,
things planned long ago.

Isaiah 25:1

I would appreciate your prayers friends. I know I'm not alone in this wait and please be assured that I'm praying for you too. If you're stuggling with the wait and would like me to pray for you specifically about this, please feel free to leave a comment or email me. It is a pleasure to bring others before the Throne of Grace.

So Glad to Be Here with You!

Today I went to an Open House that is available to waiting families with my agency. This is the 3rd or 4th one of these I have gone to but today's was the first I'd gone to in over a year. It was a notably different situation for so many reasons.

In the past the wait was less than a year so people were up, excited and anticipating their referral. At today's event the differences were very apparent to me. In the past even though the agency only had 60-80 waiting families, there would easily be 50+ people at the open house. The feeling in the air was one of excitement and talk was a preparations for baby and travel. Travel groups got to meet one another and often set up additional times to get together.

Today, even though the agency currently has about 180 waiting families there were only about 20 people there and the discussions were more questions about the wait, the wait and ...the wait. People in attendance were either next on our agency's list (Jan '06 LID's) or 2007 LID's. I found it interesting that there were only 3 of us with 2006 LID's between March and December and all the rest of the people had LID's in 2007. I find, like a lot of us, that people are just trying to go on with their lives as much as possible until we get closer to our referrals.

As hard as the wait is, our agency director was a upbeat as she could be under the circumstances. On a good note it appears the citizenship laws may be changing for Canada. I knew something was in the works but she sounded like it was a done deal as of January 1, 2008. Is anyone else aware of this? Still waiting for details but it appears from what I heard today the Hannah may come home as a Canadian citizen. This wasn't the change I'd understood but would be a wonderful surprise if it was! Does anybody have details about this?

What am I thankful for today? I'm thankful to have found you! A wonderful, informative group of people online. It was sad to see people's faces fall as they heard of the wait being so much longer than they anticipated. The girl next to me had an October 2006 LID and had contacted the agency recently to see if she might be travelling next June? With a March 2006 LID, June would be a miracle for me! What made me sad was that with all the information available to us, many people who are trying to guess when they might travel, also choose (as they are free to) to not avail themselves to the information available online.

Today, once again, I am thankful for you. The blogging community who shares our hopes, dreams and realistic referral guesstimations based on the current CC@AA trends. The wait is long and rough but being here with you makes it SO MUCH BETTER! Thanks for hanging out here...I'm happy to be waiting alongside you.

I Tried...I Really Did!

But, I just couldn't resist playing with the numbers. Hey, the fact that I survived 21 whole hours before doing this has to say something. (Yes, it says my Internet access at home is still not working so I didn't have a way to get to the numbers I needed! :o)

After a few tears this morning (thanks for the shoulder Deb) I'm back on track and feeling better today about the 4 day Referral Batch. One of my favourite adoption sites to help me through the wait is the Rumor Queen (RQ). It's not everyone's cup of tea but I appreciate what she has to offer.

This morning I went to the most recent RQ LID poll. What this poll showed was that in the August Referral Batch of November 15-21,2005 - 120 people who had voted in the poll were included in those referrals. In September's Referral Batch of November 22-25, 2005 - 134 people who had voted in the poll were included in those referrals. Based on the poll, there were just a lot of files logged in those 4 days so they were not able to cover as many calendar days but still covered as many files.

This made me feel better for 2 reasons:
a) The batches seem to be fairly consistent with the number of referrals included
b) If this number stays the same in this next batch, based on the above poll I am very confident that the next batch will take us into December 2005. Merry Christmas!

Sorry folks who had LID's in November 2005 but this gal will be very, very happy to see the tail end of November and happily move forward into the month of December!

Even though I do these calculations, I'm still not brave enough to recalculate my anticipated referral month. Now that would just be depressing and I know my limits! Not-even-going-to-try...at least for this moment!

It's Like Living in a Time Warp!

I went for my 3rd and final Twinrix vaccination last Thursday. It was due in the spring but I kinda forgot. I remember last time when I went, my doctor laughed at me when I had his secretary take this pic of him giving me my vaccination.

Today though, as I read the this post that I wrote November 15th of last year I realized that in some senses I feel like I (and my fellow adoption friends) are living in this weird kinda time warp!

Life goes on for sure. If you’ve read here for any amount of time you know that no grass is growing under these feet of mine but, at the same time, it almost feels like the adoption time is moving in s-l-o-w motion as the rest of my life moves at normal/warp speed!

Reading the post I wrote last year I can honestly say that I could write the entire post again today and it would still be true. Every single word of it. Weird!

In those almost 9 months (kinda ironic that it’s ‘9 months’) I’ve:
- visited Disney, Vancouver, Minneapolis, Montreal and Georgia plus many other places closer to home
- met more than 30 new bloggy friends in person
- celebrated the birthday of each of my family members
- celebrated Christmas and Easter
- celebrated the birth of 2 new grandchildren of Norma, my China traveling buddy
- and much, much more…

Yet, when asked when I anticipate traveling to China to meet Hannah I still can say with confidence, ‘I’m guessing it’s probably at least another year!’

But ya know what? I’m still 110% confident that God’s timing is perfect and that in His time Hannah and I will meet. I am unbelievably blessed at the peace God gives me during this wait.

'Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.'

Philippians 4:4-7

Oh yes, I can have rough days and a tear soaked pillow at night, but always, always ‘peace that passes all understanding.’ Praising God for the peace He is providing!

Celebrating!!! 1 YEAR LIDiversary Today!! *** Video Added ***

Yeah!!! Celebrating being 1 year closer to my precious Hannah!

Praising God for His faithfulness and the patience He is granting during this longer than anticipated wait.

As promised....a perfect video to celebrate this wonderful day! A blast from my past and possibly yours too. Found this a few months back and was saving it for today. Enjoy!!!

Adoption Timeline

*** Last updated March 25, 2009 ***

I'm often asked how the adoption timeline is going so I thought I'd share what has been so far and what the anticipated (very flexible) dates may be for the next steps in my journey to mommyhood. This timeline covers all the nitty gritty details!

Jan 11, 2005 ~ Decided to adopt a little girl from China
Jan 26 ~ Attended Information session at Oshawa Public Library
Jan 28 ~ Placed on Open Arms to International Adoption’s singles waiting list
Feb 27 ~ Attended Information session hosted by Open Arms
March 27 ~ Submitted request to Ontario Government for long form birth certificate
April 30 ~ Helped with Open Arms’ Silent Auction
May 19 ~ Received long form birth certificate
May 30 ~ Advised by Deborah Maw that I could begin my homestudy
June 13 ~ Initial visit with Sal Garofalo, my social worker
June 15 ~ Adoption placed on hold for the first time - praying and seeking guidance
June 28 ~ Met with Pastor Rick. Prayed with him and discussed my feelings. A wonderful visit! Such a wise, godly man!
July 4 ~ Physical and blood work - Dr. Fitzpatrick
Aug 15 ~ Slowly began to proceed with adoption but to be honest at this point I’m going ahead without the reassurance that this is what I should be doing
Aug 22 ~ Submitted local police check request
Aug 29 ~ Received local police check back
Aug 31 ~ Fingerprints taken by friend Pat Sayer
Sept 1 ~ Fingerprints mailed to the RCMP
Sept 6 ~ Officially registered with Open Arms. I have an official file #!
Sept 12 ~ Adoption placed on hold for the second time - seeking God’s guidance. I only want what He wants. Waiting on Him for direction.
Sept 14 ~ Fingerprints received back from RCMP
Sept 28 ~ Second meeting with Pastor Rick
Oct 17 ~ Talked with Madge Ellis about her adoption of her daughter Debbie. By the end of that conversation I knew that proceeding with the adoption is what God is leading me to do!!!
Oct 18 ~ Told Mom and Dad to prepare for China! The adoption is a GO!
Oct 23 ~ Open House hosted by Open Arms. Met a number of other singles and couples who are also in the process of adopting from China.
Nov 10 ~ First in-home homestudy visit with Sal
Nov 18 ~ Second in-home homestudy visit with Sal
Nov 25 ~ Homestudy completed and signed!
Nov 28 ~ Homestudy sent priority mail to Open Arms
Nov 29 ~ Service Agreement signed with Open Arms
Nov 29 ~ Homestudy received by Open Arms
Dec 1 ~ Homestudy delivered to Ontario Ministry of Community and Social Services
Jan 8, 2006 ~ Attended second Open Arms Open House
Jan 23, 2006 ~ Reapplied for long-form Birth Certificate
Feb 2, 2006 ~ Received long-form Birth Certificate
Feb 6, 2006 ~ Dossier Couriered to Open Arms
Feb 16, 2006 ~ Received Ministry Approval!
March 13, 2006 ~ Dossier to China!!!
March 23, 2006 ~ File Logged with China Center of Adoption Affairs!!!
March 8, 2007 ~ Dossier is through the Review Room and in the MATCHING ROOM!!!
Jan 14, 2008 ~ Applied for new police clearance to update Ontario Ministry on Community and Social Services which is due by April 30, 2008. (After a mini-update is done with my social worker to extend my current approval until April 30th. The Ontario government recently changed their approval requirements and require new/updated paperwork due to the extended wait.)
Jan 17, 2008 ~ Physical to update Ministry approval
February 8, 2008 ~ Completed mini-update with Social Worker to extend Ontario Ministry approval until April 30, 2008
April 20, 2008 ~ Completed 2 year update paperwork with Social Worker to exteng Ontario Ministry approval until April 30, 2010. Praying I do not need to extend it again!!!
January 15, 2009 ~ Applied for Part I of Hannah's Canadian Citizenship. Part II will be completed in Beijing!
February 28, 2009 ~ Passport Renewal applied for
March 12, 2009 ~ Part I of Citizenship approved!!
March 13, 2009 ~ Passport arrived. Good for another 5 years!
August 21, 2009 ~ HANNAH CATHERINE XIAOFEN'S REFERRAL!!!!!!!!!
August 29, 2009 ~ Saw my sweet daughter's face for the very first time!!!
September 12, 2009 ~ Open Arms Travel meeting. We're leaving for China October 29th and Hannah will be in my arms on November 2nd!!!