What Was It Like Becoming a Single Mom?

As we were in China I would receive emails and comments from family and friends who were excited to meet Hannah and they, with well understood excitement, would count down the days until we arrived home on Canadian soil. As I would sit in the hotel room in China I'll admit to being surprised by my own body's reaction to these comments. Words that I thought would bring great excitement and joy caused me also to break into a cold sweat and my stomach to flip-flop. As I'd sit in the dark (as it was often very late at night when I had time to check the computer) I'd find myself almost panicking about coming home. I believe these feelings were caused by a variety of contributors.

I was going to be a single mom. Let's be honest...this wasn't a surprise to me but the reality was quickly taking root. For the 13 days I was a Mom in China, I was wonderfully blessed to have my amazing, loving, awesome parents right next door (sometimes even in an adjoining room so that there wasn't even a full wall between us) and a loving, caring friend right in the room with me. Norma could often anticipate my needs and would quietly, behind the scenes just do stuff to make my life easier. I knew from the very beginning that I wanted mom and dad to come to China and was even more blessed when Norma could come too, but little did I realize until we were there just how much their love and support meant. They were always...always there to lend a helping hand, answer questions, a shoulder to lean on/cry on and so much more. What would I do when suddenly the door closed behind them when we were home and I was all alone? Would I truly know what to do? Would I question my gut instinct?

The answer I know now is that I would be just fine but at the time I didn't know for sure. The seeds of doubt would arise in the dark of the night and I'd find myself almost shaking physically and praying, asking God to help me both then and when we got home.

I can't tell you the number of times I've heard people share about how hard it is to be alone all day with a baby and how they remember counting the hours and minutes until their spouse came home so that they could get just a little bit of 'me time' or, get some things done. Those stories would go round and round my head and I'd question myself....'Will I be able to do it? There won't be anyone coming home to relieve me. What will I do?' Well, I need not have worried. No, not because of anything I've done but truly by what God has done. He has given me the most AMAZING baby!!! She is the love of my life and is a sheer joy to be with! She makes it SO easy to care for her as God created her with a sweet, easy going personality and the cutest smile you ever did see! I can honestly say that on numerous days as the clock has neared 4:00 I've thought to myself, 'I'm so glad there's nobody coming home as I don't want to miss a moment of being with Hannah XiaoFen!' We have our moments occasionally and my baby girl has that Hunan girl 'spicy temper' but those moments are so few and far between that they're very, very rare! There have been a couple of days when I've been in the room and just had to let her cry for a bit, all the while reassuring her that Mommy is right here and she's just fine but that it's 6:30 and if mommy doesn't finally put a bite of food in her mouth that day she's gonna drop! Yes, there was many a day when the first food I got was in the evening so I made sure to drink lots of milk and orange juice during the day and get fed that way. It's getting better now though and I can usually fit in 1-2 meals per day.

I have continually been amazed how God grants you patience and understanding with your child. Part of this I believe too comes with being a *gulp* older parent. :o) The patience and understanding I have now as opposed to 20 years ago is a blessing. The first night home Hannah cried for almost 2 solid hours when we went to bed and even though I cried with her, I just felt love flowing through me and my only desire was to make things better for her. Eventually she calmed down and even though those heart breaking shudders that came from her after such a long cry lasted for quite a while, I knew she was ok and that mommy was right there and she wasn't going anywhere. I tell her this daily, many times daily, and I can't wait for the day when she understands what I'm saying. I'm not sure if she does now but I truly believe the love that ensues when I whisper the words, 'Mommy's right here XiaoFen. Mommy loves you. Mommy's not going anywhere' must be felt by her little heart. I pray that God would allow her little heart to continue to heal and trust.

I believe some of the other fears I was facing was the unknown of how my life was going to change from what I had known. What would my 'new normal' be like? How would I fill my days? (Heh....silly, silly question I now know!!)

I had lived life to the fullest as a single and was a girl who loved to have a good time and go out with a friend at the spur of the moment. Although this has been somewhat curved, I also have a daughter who enjoys being out among people too!

God answered one of my questions before I ever left the airport in Toronto. (Yes, I promise to post that soon. That was what this post was originally going to be and as you can see it's taken a completely different turn.) As things were quietening down at the airport and Dad had gone to get the van, my cell phone rang. It was my best friend Sharon saying that she was at the house, the tea kettle was on and that she'd be there whenever we got home but not to rush. A wave of calm came over me as God placed this precious friend just where I needed her to be. She was still there and our friendship would still be there, just now with an added little person as the centre of our time together.
I had always known our friendship would be there as it's grown over 25+ years to something very precious but I hadn't been sure how it would change. You know what? It hasn't really other than we tease about what we used to find to talk about now that all we do is ooo and goo and Hannah and chat about her. And, Hannah has an honourary Grandma and Grandpa too! What a blessing they are to our family and such treasured friends. We love you Grandma and Grandpa!! xoxo Now when the phone rings in the evening, sometimes it's Grandma and Grandpa P wondering if XiaoFen can come over for a playtime? We happily oblige and they wind her up with all their fun and love and then we head home. We tease that on those nights she'll be up until all hours but normally she's beginning to doze by the time we hit our driveway even though we only live 3 mins apart. I know XiaoFen loves those play times but finds it pretty exhausting entertaining 3 adults! :o)

Time with other friends has also been wonderful and it's great to be off right now and have the time to spend with Hannah and at the same time with friends too. Our normal Christmas Day celebrations are planned for next week and Hannah will see what fun Christmas is as we share time with many family and friends!



Yesterday we were at Wal-M*rt and bumped into both Joy and Norma so we pulled our carts into Tim's and enjoyed a coffee (bottle for Hannah) and wonderful visit together. What a wonderful, unexpected surprise! Patient Auntie Joy was finally able to hold Hannah and it was a wonderful time for both of them! (Although I'm thinking Hannah would have preferred she keep her glasses on as they looked like a great new toy to play with!)

So, becoming a single mom has been different from what I thought but all in very positive ways!!! I love my daughter like crazy and cannot spend enough time with her! In no way am I bored and just the exact opposite. Now my stomach flip-flops when I think of going back to work next summer...so I try not to think about it and just enjoy this time we have together.

Even though I'm home all day you'd never know it from the look of the house. If you come over, just step over the stuff in the hallway and toys on the floor. Don't check to see if the bed's made as I'm guessing it won't be. Be careful near the high chair or you may find Cheerios adorning your socks. Just pull up a piece of floor, grab a block or rattle to play with us and have a great time! We're just hanging out together and happy to have you with us!

Favourite Toy

When we first returned home from China I had 2 disposable cameras to be developed. These were from the care packages I had sent to XiaoFen while she was still in the SWI and held precious insight into my baby girl's life prior to our meeting. I was excited to receive the pictures but did not realize how hard in some ways it would be to look at them. Part of me scans every square inch of each and every picture while another part of me aches while I do so. I know there is no way that I could have been there, but oh how I wish I had.

What the pictures do reveal is that Hannah was in a SWI where I believe she was being well cared for. Her clothes are clean, the rooms are tidy, her little bed is full of bedding and even has a mattress on it and more than anything, I see a little girl who was comfortable where she was. DaoXian was her home and I truly believe she was loved and well cared for when she was there. One glimpse of her light-up-the-room smile and you can't help but think she's pretty amazing! When she first meets new people that little smile can be hard to find but very quickly she's grinning at them, safe from the comfort of mommy's arms. We're still sticking extremely close together and I'm really happy about this decision. She's beginning to show even more attachment as she will now fuss sometimes when I leave the room for a moment. It makes it harder to get things done but I wouldn't change it for anything. Tidying the house can wait for another day. Cradling my baby girl in my arms while she naps won't always be an option so for now I choose to gaze at her peaceful sleeping face as the dust bunnies collect.

What started this (winding) post is that in the pictures I saw of Hannah while she was still living in China, often she was holding and playing with a ball with lots of texture.





As soon as I saw these pictures it became my mission to find something similar. That night I located an interim toy and you can see how happy it made her to hold it! (This video was taken almost 3 weeks ago.)



I have since found a similar ball and Hannah's little face just lit up in the store when I handed it to her!
I am SO thankful for the pictures of Hannah before we met and the glimpse into her little life.

Thank you Lord for being there with my precious daughter, each and every moment before you brought us together. Thank You for being with us now!!

Necessity is the Mother of Invention!

Meet my new laundry helper!! We weren't home 3 days before I knew 1 laundry basket just wouldn't do and today I replaced the old one with a 2nd like the one in these pics. The old, broken one only really worked with 2 hands and 2 hands are hard to come by these days so it had to go.

Well....that's what I get for thinking this was going to be a quick blog post!

I added those pics an hour ago and since then my little love has had a rough bout although you wouldn't know from the kicking legs and chattering happening next to me.

As I was waiting for the pics to upload Hannah started to cough. She's had a bit of a cold the past 2 days but other than a yucky nose at times and congested cough (mainly at night) you wouldn't really know it. I have a cool air humidifier running in our room hoping it will help her out.

Her cough upset her tummy and up came part of her bottle. Ah yes, on the sheets I washed ummm....less than 12 hours ago!

Off to change my love's sleepers, scrub the little spot that hit the sheets and find a way to prop up her mattress so that her head is a little higher than the rest of her. Done!

We cuddled for a bit and as I was carrying her back to bed you guessed it! More coughing and what I'm guessing is most of the rest of her bedtime bottle (I hope!) made a reappearance all over her, me, her favourite blanket, taggie and the carpet. Ahhh motherhood! And I love it! Truly I do except for my little Hannah being sick.

So now we have christened the new laundry basket as it sits in the hall with 2 pair of soiled sleepers, a blanket, taggie, my nightgown, the cloth used to clean the carpet and tomorrow we'll add the sheets and be off to do laundry again.

I guess since I was doing a post about laundry Hannah thought she'd add to the fun! Thanks sweetie.

Note to self: Add a set of cotton sheets to Santa's wish list. I'm quickly seeing one set just isn't going to cut it in this role of mommy! :o)

Calling All Airport Photographers! :o)

I'm working on a post about our homecoming and am trying to gather pics. Finally realized tonight that the easiest way to gather as many of those photos as possible is probably to put the call out here so....

'Hey!! If you were at the airport on Nov 14th and have pics you could share, can you please email them to me?' Thanks!!

Now, back to our regularly scheduled blogging...

Mixed Veggies? Ummm...no thanks!

Hannah is a great eater but so far has let me know that baby food with texture is not for her! I tried one of those rice, meat and veggie mixtures earlier in the week without success. Today we tried mixed veggies. She gave it the old college try but the first two bites were met with gagging and a look of, 'C'mon mom....what are you feeding me?' I tried thinning it down a bit with water but she still wasn't impressed. She ate about 10 bites but you can see from her face and bib that some only made it in long enough to be spit back out. This goes on record as our official messiest meal to date but she still looks so cute and when she spits it out it's with an impish smile on her face!





Hannah's final opinion about mixed veggies! (We'll try them again tomorrow but I won't tell her that yet!)

Hannah is 9 months old today!!

Today we celebrated Hannah being 9 months old! From afar I celebrated her 6th, 7th and 8th month of age and today for the very first time we celebrated one of these milestones together! It was a day of celebration....and also some tears.

I felt I was (and am) pretty prepared for this whole Mommy role but there has been one part that has taken me quite by surprise. The guilt I find I'm feeling over the time of her life that I missed. I know there is nothing at all I can do to change the time we were apart and it too was part of God' plan, yet it's there and I acknowledge it. Far more often than I thought would happen, I find myself questioning why XiaoFen does the things she does. Is it just her little personality? Or, is it something more stemming back to before we met?

She has this precious little thing she does with her hands as she's falling asleep and I've come to call it her 'sleepy hands' and is one sign, along with scratching her head, that my little love is ready for a nap/bed.




One hand at a time she will bring the bottom of the palm of her hand towards her face. At first I thought she was going to suck her thumb but no, it's just this action of bringing her hands up. Sometimes she will put in her thumb or pointer finger and chew on them a bit but doesn't really suck on them. When she sleeps, she sucks her tongue which is adorable to watch. This cute little action of bringing her hand to her face should be just that, a cute little comfort to her but instead it sometimes brings questions for mommy. Did she want to suck her thumb but was stopped? I don't think I would have questioned this except I saw a Family Day video of another family whose baby was from her orphanage and in it the travel nanny kept taking the baby's thumb out of her mouth. It broke my heart as you could tell this baby was comforted by this action but it was stopped.

You may say I'm totally over analyzing this and I very well may be but hey, this is where I'm capturing my thoughts and memories for Hannah and I to share together later. I hope her little habit is just one of comfort and try to think of it as that. Most days I'm ok...others, not so much and I just need to acknowledge those feelings.

Tonight Hannah also did something uncharacteristic and it caused me to cry gentle tears into her hair as I rocked her. She had been asleep for a couple of hours and as is quite common she woke just after 11. Our normal routine is that I comfort her for a moment and then she falls back to sleep, safely tucked in. Tonight I wanted to get something from the dresser so after she was asleep again I stood up and walked about 5' to get something. In that time she woke up and burst into hysterical crying. This has happened a couple of times since we've been together but is not a normal occurance for her.

I think that as I was preparing this post in my head, celebrating her 9 months, I was sensetive to the date and what happened 9 months ago tonight. I'm hoping and praying that my little love does not remember this but 9 months ago tomorrow was the night/day that her birth mother said good-bye to her and she was placed to be found.

As Hannah burst into hysterical tears tonight, complete with alligator tears and body heaving sobs very quickly, it broke my heart too! Could she possibly remember that time? How long was she alone? Was she sleeping peacefully or awake crying? Was she warm or cold? These are some of the many, many questions that float through my head in which I will never have answers to. I try not to dwell on them and most times I'm ok but other times, like tonight, the sorrow of unanswered questions is too great and the tears flow.

My heart also goes out to Hannah's birth mother who carried her within her for 9 months and then had to part from her. Did she think of her daughter today? Did she cry too? Oh how I wish I could let her know that her baby girl is well, happy and loved...SO LOVED and oh how I wish that I could thank her. It is her unselfish act that has allowed me to become the mother to my amazing daughter, Hannah XiaoFen!! I knew that I would love my baby girl but never, ever, ever did I realize how deep this love would be and immediate! Upon hearing the words, 'Congratulations, you have a daughter!' to the moment she was placed in my arms 25 days ago, she immediately grabbed hold of places I never knew existed and has only dug her way in deeper every single day!! I will be forever grateful to the Lord for bringing Hannah and I together. Truly she is a miracle I hold in my arms every day....and the miracle I feel even now as she rests beside me with her little foot resting against me.

'The LORD has done this and it is marvelous in our eyes'!!!

Psalm 118:23

Hannah at 9 months of age:

• height: 28 1/2" (90th percentile on the Asian charts)
• weight: 16lbs. 7.5oz. (50th percentile on the Asian charts)
• teete: zero - but soon I'm guessing
• eats very well!! She's enjoying stage 1 baby food and enjoys most veggies and all fruit. She's not crazy about baby food with texture yet but I'm slowly introducing it to her and at least now she just makes a silly face rather than gagging. :o)
• Begins each night sleeping in her crib
• wakes within the first 1/2 hour just to make sure mommy is still right there. Fusses a tiny bit but is normally comforted by some shushing and a hand placed on her belly
• will wake for the 2nd time normally between 11pm and midnight. This time she needs a little more comforting which I'm happy to give. We rock in the rocking chair for a while and then she's once again tucked into bed. If she's not tired, Hannah will play quietly with her taggie for quite some time! A couple of nights ago I went to sleep at 1:00 but she was still wide awake, quietly playing. I left the nightlight on for about half an hour and she played with her taggie and then when I woke up at 1:30 I quietly said, 'It's bed time sweetie' and turned out the light. That was it until morning.
• She sleeps really, really well and our current sleep pattern is for her to fall asleep between 9:00 and 9:30 and with the exception of the 2 awake times above, she will sleep until somewhere between 9:00 and 10:00 in the morning. Mommy is getting far more sleep than she ever has and is quite happy to sleep late too!
• If Hannah wakes before me in the morning she may do 1 of 2 things. Some mornings she fusses a bit to let me know she's up and it's time to get our day started and other days she'll play quietly with her taggie until I wake up.
• She currently has 4 8oz. bottles a day plus 3 meals of babyfood and cereal at breakfast
• Snacks consist of Cheerios (broken in to 3 pieces each), Gerber Puffs (also broken up) and Mum Mums - although they're guaranteed to trash any outfit she has on so they're a rare treat.
• When Hannah and I first me 25 days ago her core stomach muscles were weak and she could barely sit up. Now she's sitting up really well when I sit her up although still tumbles over on a regular basis so I build 'Fort XiaoFen' with 3 pillows and she sits in there
• She isn't trying to crawl yet but I'm guessing it won't be long
• She learned to roll over on Friday, November 20th and hasn't stopped since. At first she just rolled back and forth but now she rolls quite a bit.
• She forgets how heavy her little head is and bangs it on the floor occasionally while rolling. Mommy gives lots of hugs, snuggles and kisses even when she doesn't cry. Letting her know Mommy is here and that I'm not going anywhere!!
• She knows who Mommy is and treats me to gummy smiles often and even some slobbery kisses...which I love!
• She's currently in size 9 mos clothes although can still fit into some 6 mos sleepers but not for long.
• Her current wardrobe is a number of adorable baby pink outfits that are all mix and match...depending on lunch spillage and spit up mishaps. Soon enough she will be in 'big girl' clothes so while I can I'm enjoying dressing her in cozy outfits suitable to a cool Canadian fall.
• Hannah's favourite toys are still the small, rattle type toys. The sectional ball with the spinner in it, a turqouise dog with beads on it and a flower with ladybug rattle are her main favourite toy
• She has toys in the family room, on her change table, in our room and a variety of other places. So far she's ok with saying 'good-bye' to them when we leave a room and greet the new toys waiting for her in our next room
• XiaoFen loves, loves, loves to be in the Snuggly. She spends time in there every day and I have yet to have taken the stroller out of storage in the basement but that will need to change soon as Christmas shopping begins. I can do a few hours carrying her but more than that would be a challenge. I purposely chose a stroller with a handle that flips so that she can see me when I push her. I'm guessing that will be introduced soon as another option when we're out.
• Hannah is ok with me being out of direct eye sight for little bits of time but I tend to talk to her (you're shocked I'm sure!) when she can't see me so that she can still hear me
• She has taken really well to her bucket car seat. I'm guessing her being in the Snuggly so often on the bus and in taxis in China helped her with the feeling of being confined.
• I miss our travel in China as it was such a treat to hold her in my lap, kiss her fuzzy head and have her fall asleep in my arms
• We don't have a set nap schedule right now but she normally gets 2 naps a day. These are usually either in the car when we're out or, in my arms after lunch if she falls asleep drinking her bottle. She has napped in her crib but not often yet
• My little love is a snuggler!!! She's cozy right in for a good snuggle either when getting sleepy, in the snuggly or just when I'm holding her. I love it!!!
• she's a happy smiley girl who will share her gummy grins with just about anyone if they're around long enough for her to warm up to them from the safety of mommy's arms.
• As we're working on bonding Hannah hasn't been held by too many people yet and when she does mommy is always right there and if she begins to fuss she immediately comes back to my arms. The bonding and attachment seem to be going well for the amount of time we've been together but I'm still being super, super cautious and will be for some time. Until at least the new year I'll be the one to do all the feeding, changing and comforting and 99% of the holding.
• Sadly I have to start teaching piano this coming week and it breaks my heart that I'm going to be away from her if even for little bits of time. My mom will be watching her upstairs and will know that if she fusses to bring her to me but we should be ok. I teach for 1/2 an hour, have a 1/2 hour break then teach for another hour. The other day will be a little harder as it's a 2 hour stretch. I'll have to wiggle her schedule around a bit so that she's fed before and after I teach but I'm sure we'll get our groove on. It's only for 3 weeks then we're off for 2 weeks for Christmas vacation.
• when I first met Hannah she stuck her little tongue out a lot. After a couple of days it seemed to stop and now it's back again....and adorable!
• She is a real chatterbox and makes the cutest, most adorable sounds! Her only 'word' so far is still dadada but I'm working on 'mamama' but nothing so far.
• It's fun to dress her in little sleepers with decorated feet. It had never occured to me that she would find this feet so interesting and she loves to talk to them and play with them!

I'm sure there is more and I will add as I think of it but that's the list for now. If you're still reading....wow - good for you! This list ended up being much longer than I'd anticipated but these are details I want to be sure to capture for the future.

Here are some pics from our Family Day on November 2nd

and then today, November 27th when Hannah turned 9 mos old.

Meeting a New Friend plus 'Strollers and Stars'

Today Hannah and I went to some wonderful friends' home for lunch. Hugh and Donna were my Sunday School teachers when I first started attending Calvary back in 1995 and some of the very first people I got to know at the church. They will always hold a special place in my heart as they reached out to me and got to know me in my very first days there.

When I first began Hannah's adoption I was excited to share the news with them and they have prayed faithfully for both of us over the past almost 5 years. Today their were tears of joy in their eyes and mine as they met Hannah XiaoFen for the very first time!

You can imagine my delight and surprise when they shared with me about a year ago that they had a new granddaughter coming home from China early in 2009! It turns out that their daughter Diane (whom I had met on a number of occasions) and her husband were also adopting from China and had been matched with a wonderful little girl whom we now know and love as Gracie! The friendship Diane and I had quickly grew after that as we shared this wonderful bond!

This morning Hannah and I drove to Hugh and Donna's for a delicious lunch and visit together! What fun it was to share with another friend who has also been in China this year and you can imagine the goosebumps I got when I realized that Diane and her family were in China meeting Gracie when Hannah was born!!!

It was fun to see Grace and Hannah together! Hannah was entertained by her new little friend and Grace was adorable when we arrived and she said, 'Hi Hannah!' Heh....Grace has been 'following' the blog on mommy's knee and recognized Hannah when they met! Not bad for a little love who has just turned 2!

The girls took time to pose for a few pics for us before we ate lunch. It's so sweet the way their hands and linked! We're looking forward to more play dates in the future!

After lunch Hannah and I headed out to try something new. We met my parents at a local theatre to take in a 'Strollers and Stars' performance which is where the movie theatres open in the afternoon for moms and dads to attend popular movies with their babies. Great idea! The sound is quieter, the lights are dimmed rather than completely off and there are even change tables with diapers and wipes provided. I was pleasantly surprised to see how well attended the movie was! I'm guessing there were 30 - 40 babies with moms, dad, grandmas and grandpas. We went to see the new Sandr* Bu11ock movie, 'Blind Side' and it was excellent!! Highly recommended to all! I'm guessing after Christmas Hannah and I may take in more of these afternoon movies.

What fun Hannah and I are having enjoying this time of getting to know one another and introducing her to those who have been praying for her for years. SO thankful for the time I have off work to spend with my sweetie!

PS - Happy Thanksgiving to my friends to the south!!

Agency Christmas Party!

Sunday was our agency's Christmas party and Miss Hannah was the belle of the ball! When I walked in with her sleeping in her bucket car seat people immediately gathered. Their first response was that it was a long time since a baby had come home young enough to fit in a bucket car seat! The wait for my precious may have been long but I am forever grateful and thankful to God for her young age! She woke as soon as we got there and we enjoyed the music being provided by one of our China travelmates, Robert. Great job Robert!! It was so nice to see you, Bonnie and your adorable Serena!

Before we left the party I wanted to capture a few special pictures. Hannah and I with Deborah, the director of our agency. I cannot begin to tell you how thankful I am for this wonderful lady who helped me every step of the way. She and I originally met in January of 2005 and in November of 2009 we stood together with God's precious miracle between us! Thank you, thank you, thank you Deborah!!! My heart cannot begin to express my gratefulness to you!!

Also at the party was Angus who had presented Hannah's referral to me and showed me her pictures for the first time on August 29th. Here we are on that day

and then now!

What a treat to be able to introduce Hannah to these people who have played such an important part in she and I becoming a family. My agency, Open Arms to International Adoption, is the greatest!! So happy that that is where God opened the singles slot for me!

And, since posts are just better with video, here's one I took of Hannah playing after we returned home from the party.

Rollin' Rollin' Rollin! My Baby is Rolling!!

As we visited with Chick and Pea on Friday and played with their cool toys, I was reminded of a playmat that I'd been given for Hannah by a great friend a couple of years ago. At the time I wasn't sure if she might be too old for it when I brought her home but at 8 1/2 mos. she loves it!

As soon as we got home we headed to the basement and immediately found the mat and mommy put it up. I placed Hannah under it and she loved it! Kicking her feet, grabbing things with her hands and oh my.......rolling over!! Life as I know it has just changed!!

Around the house I build what we affectionately call 'Fort XiaoFen'. I take 3 pillows and put them together in a triangle, add toys and Hannah and she has a place to play for a few moments while mommy tries to get a few things done. I'm never far away as she still tumbles over and is unable to get up on her own but it does give her some freedom to play and me a moment to do dishes, make bottles or get dressed.




I was recording her fun on the play mat Friday and caught her learning how to roll over! So fun!!! It's now 3 days later and she still rolls over when playing on her mat but has yet to really try it elsewhere on her own. I'm sure it's only a matter of days though! So much for Fort XiaoFen that we currently build on my bed. That one may need to move to the floor soon!

First Play Date!

Friday, Hannah and I headed to Grandma and Grandpa's for lunch and then on to visit our friends Chick and Pea and their mommy and daddy. When I walked in the house K1 and I just hugged and hugged as we gazed at our 3 little loves sleeping in their car seats at our feet. Miracles all 3!!! (They were all covered in their matching blankets too! Thanks Auntie Dolores!!)

Ahhh....we've waited for and talked about this so long and couldn't be happier feeding our littles beside one another! (I love how this picture captures Hannah's little eyes. We make great eye contact during bottle feedings and I have increased her to 4 a day from the 2 she was getting in the SWI.)

After lunch it was time to play. Pea and Hannah enjoyed his aquarium toy and had a lot of fun. For Hannah it was a brand new toy and for Pea I think she had it jumping and moving more than normal which kept him entertained too.

Sorry Pea if my little girly climbed over you a little. She was so excited to get to the butterfly above you that sometimes she forgot her manners. :o)

Chick was there and enjoyed the fun from her bouncey seat and next time will be in on all the fun! Hannah and I are already looking forward to our next play date!

My New Bedtime Routine....and I Love It!!!

Life has taken on many changes in the past 19 days, one major one is my bedtime routine.

I've been a TV gal for as long as I can remember but lately it's just not so. I'll be honest and say that there is much I'd like to watch but I've quickly learned that when the TV is on my girly stops what she's doing and watches the TV. Be it eating or playing she'll stop and watch the action which has caused mommy to keep it off most of the time. I've gone from watching at least 4 hours a day to probably a total of about 6 hours (while she's been sleeping) since Hannah and I met. There is a PVR downstairs loaded with lots of great programming like Amazing Race, Survivor, 18 Kids and Counting and more....but for now they'll just have to wait.

Hannah's sleeping patterns here in Canada have not been quite as settled as they were in China. I hear that's quite common. After midnight she sleeps like a rock and I am grateful for that but before midnight she is more unsettled. I'm trying to get her to bed a little earlier each few days and it's working but she still wakes up a few times. The first wake up is normally within 30 mins of her going to sleep. At this point she's in her crib and I'm sitting on my bed about 2 feet away. She wakes crying and sometimes she calms herself and goes back to sleep and other times she needs a little rocking and cuddling. Never a problem!

Normally after this cuddle time she's back to sleep but for the past 2 nights this sleep has only lasted about 15 mins and she's quite wide awake and happily plays in the dark beside me. Her little feet kick (as they're kicking the laptop now) and she chatters away and sometimes plays with the tags on her taggie which she likes to sleep with. I look down and these most precious little eyes with an huge gummy grin are looking up at me as if to say, 'Hey Mommy....let's play! I'm not tired!' I'm trying not to give in to it (although it's hard as she's so cute!) but realize we must get into a better sleep routine. Once midnight hits it's like a switch goes off and she's down for the count....normally until 10am! Now, I'm enjoying these late mornings but truly it does make it quite difficult to get things done and throws her nap schedule for the day too. I hate to but I might need to begin waking her up earlier in the day (oh yah....that means me getting up earlier too!) so that she can get onto a better schedule). We'll work on that.....next week. :o)

She settles really well once I do. If I needed more sleep I'd try to go to sleep when she does but I'd be wide awake in the middle of the night. For now I'm going to try and read a bit by the nightlight and see if she settles. Still working out the jet lag kinks but it's only been a week and we'll eventually get our sleep groove on. Until then....enjoy a little of what I see. Is there any question why I'm so madly in love? Even at midnight when she should be sleeping she's totally adorable!!



Oooo....it's 12:40 and I think she's gone for the night. A little more rocking and she was out like a light. Every other night one's she's asleep at this hour she stays asleep so here's hoping tonight will be like the rest!

good night friends.......

Ahhhh! So This is Jet-lag!

I was almost daring to hope that we'd somehow skipped the whole jet-lag thing but tonight (night 3) we're up and wide awake at 2:30am.

The first 2 nights were totally opposite to what I'd imagined they'd be like. Night one my poor sweetie was totally out of sorts for a couple of hours. We were home, just the two of us and had followed our normal bed routine of a bath, lotion, cozy pj's, bottle and then bed. She went right to sleep but woke within half an hour and was oh so distressed. Kicking, screaming, flailing and more. It broke my heart as I tried everything I could but just could not comfort her. Finally after about 2 hours of this, around 3:30am she drifted off to sleep. Don't worry sweetie...mommy isn't going anywhere!

I woke for a bit around 8 and then again at 9:30 and thought I'd just lay there dozing until she woke up. You can imagine my surprise when we woke to the phone ringing at 12:15 in the afternoon!!

The second night was much the same. Bed around 9:30, slept for an hour, snuggled for half an hour, slept for half an hour, snuggled for an hour and then around 12:30 she drifted off not to wake again until 12:45 in the afternoon when I woke up too and gently woke her! So much for no more sleeping in! I haven't slept until noon in years and now we've done it two days in a row.

But....then there is tonight and I'm learning what true jet-lag is about. Hannah went down around 9:30 again but had a couple more snuggle times than the nights before. Then, around 2 she woke up and wasn't too keen about going back into her crib so she came in with me. I dozed off and around 2:30 woke up to find her laying awake entertaining herself with her little fingers in the air. As I lay there and watched her quietly play with her fingers it broke my heart. How many nights had she layed awake in the orphanage and rather than call out had just entertained herself?

At this point I had a decision to make and it was an easy one for me. Some may not agree but I chose to get up and we enjoyed a middle of the night playtime together. When jet-lag hits and you're just not tired...you're just not tired. You can tell by this pic that sleep wasn't to be had at this moment. Why make her play by herself when mommy was only too happy to do her part and play along? We enjoyed reading some stories together ('The Bedtime Story'....subliminal messaging? :o) and played for about an hour. Around 4 she'd relaxed so we decided to head to bed again and that was it until this morning when I had to wake her at 9:00 as she has her first doctor's appt. at 10:15.

Our days and nights are still out of sorts and we don't have any real routine down yet but it will come with time. Right now I am constantly amazed with how well Hannah is doing and the new things she does every day!!