Letter of Presentation...phew...tough to write!

I have just completed writing the first draft of my, 'Letter of Presentation' and to be honest, I'm emotionally exhausted and feel on the verge of tears! This letter is sent to the Chinese Government requesting the honour and priveledge of adopting a child from their country. It must be written with great respect and care yet at the same time I wanted it to come from my heart. How do I put on 2 pages all my heart is feeling and how much I love this little girl whom I have never met? How do I show these wonderful people that she will be loved and cared for? I know that this will happen but it's so hard to put it onto paper. Also, having to write the words, 'I promise never to abuse or abandon my child' were really, really hard. I know I will never do this but it just seemed awful to actually put pen to paper and include this in the letter but included it must be. Another really difficult part to omit was the portion of how I feel this is God's will for my life and that He is leading this entire process. I believe this with all my heart and even though I cannot write this in the letter I will share it with my daughter when she is old enough to understand.

I've often been told that the adoption process will be an emotional rollercoaster and today was just another example of that. How can I long to hold someone so badly that I have never met? How can there be such an ache in my heart for this baby girl? Why do I feel like I miss her already? It's going to be a long year!

Dealing with what I'm feeling, I can't begin to imagine what her birth mother must be going through. I ache to hold Hannah and have only a year to wait. She must/will ache to hold her baby girl and this ache will never be fulfilled.

Oh God, please help this precious woman deal

with the loss of her beautiful daughter. Please hold

this dear lady in your loving arms and comfort

her as only You can.

Amen

Open Arms Open House #2

This afternoon I went to another Open Arms Open House in Toronto. This is a time when all 'waiting families' can get together, meet, talk and share in the adoption process together. Last time I attended an open house in October 2005 I had yet to begin my homestudy. When I went today is was great to say that my homestudy was complete and that my file had been with the Ontario Government for the past 5 weeks. Hopefully their approval will come soon! I met 2 other families that may be in my travel group. One already had ministry approval and the other was submitted about 3 weeks after me.

Another good thing that happened was that I met 3 other single ladies who are with Open Arms and also in the process of adopting their first child. They had met previously and had since gotten together a couple of times. They've invited me to join them the next time they get together which I'm really happy about. It's wonderful meeting others who are adopting and to have the role of 'single mom' in common is an even greater bond.

It was a great day! Can't believe it will probably be a year until I hold my daughter for the very first time yet in saying that I can't believe it will be a year this Wednesday when I first decided to look into adopting from China! I pray this next year goes as quickly as this last one has!

Adoption Timeline

*** Last updated March 25, 2009 ***

I'm often asked how the adoption timeline is going so I thought I'd share what has been so far and what the anticipated (very flexible) dates may be for the next steps in my journey to mommyhood. This timeline covers all the nitty gritty details!

Jan 11, 2005 ~ Decided to adopt a little girl from China
Jan 26 ~ Attended Information session at Oshawa Public Library
Jan 28 ~ Placed on Open Arms to International Adoption’s singles waiting list
Feb 27 ~ Attended Information session hosted by Open Arms
March 27 ~ Submitted request to Ontario Government for long form birth certificate
April 30 ~ Helped with Open Arms’ Silent Auction
May 19 ~ Received long form birth certificate
May 30 ~ Advised by Deborah Maw that I could begin my homestudy
June 13 ~ Initial visit with Sal Garofalo, my social worker
June 15 ~ Adoption placed on hold for the first time - praying and seeking guidance
June 28 ~ Met with Pastor Rick. Prayed with him and discussed my feelings. A wonderful visit! Such a wise, godly man!
July 4 ~ Physical and blood work - Dr. Fitzpatrick
Aug 15 ~ Slowly began to proceed with adoption but to be honest at this point I’m going ahead without the reassurance that this is what I should be doing
Aug 22 ~ Submitted local police check request
Aug 29 ~ Received local police check back
Aug 31 ~ Fingerprints taken by friend Pat Sayer
Sept 1 ~ Fingerprints mailed to the RCMP
Sept 6 ~ Officially registered with Open Arms. I have an official file #!
Sept 12 ~ Adoption placed on hold for the second time - seeking God’s guidance. I only want what He wants. Waiting on Him for direction.
Sept 14 ~ Fingerprints received back from RCMP
Sept 28 ~ Second meeting with Pastor Rick
Oct 17 ~ Talked with Madge Ellis about her adoption of her daughter Debbie. By the end of that conversation I knew that proceeding with the adoption is what God is leading me to do!!!
Oct 18 ~ Told Mom and Dad to prepare for China! The adoption is a GO!
Oct 23 ~ Open House hosted by Open Arms. Met a number of other singles and couples who are also in the process of adopting from China.
Nov 10 ~ First in-home homestudy visit with Sal
Nov 18 ~ Second in-home homestudy visit with Sal
Nov 25 ~ Homestudy completed and signed!
Nov 28 ~ Homestudy sent priority mail to Open Arms
Nov 29 ~ Service Agreement signed with Open Arms
Nov 29 ~ Homestudy received by Open Arms
Dec 1 ~ Homestudy delivered to Ontario Ministry of Community and Social Services
Jan 8, 2006 ~ Attended second Open Arms Open House
Jan 23, 2006 ~ Reapplied for long-form Birth Certificate
Feb 2, 2006 ~ Received long-form Birth Certificate
Feb 6, 2006 ~ Dossier Couriered to Open Arms
Feb 16, 2006 ~ Received Ministry Approval!
March 13, 2006 ~ Dossier to China!!!
March 23, 2006 ~ File Logged with China Center of Adoption Affairs!!!
March 8, 2007 ~ Dossier is through the Review Room and in the MATCHING ROOM!!!
Jan 14, 2008 ~ Applied for new police clearance to update Ontario Ministry on Community and Social Services which is due by April 30, 2008. (After a mini-update is done with my social worker to extend my current approval until April 30th. The Ontario government recently changed their approval requirements and require new/updated paperwork due to the extended wait.)
Jan 17, 2008 ~ Physical to update Ministry approval
February 8, 2008 ~ Completed mini-update with Social Worker to extend Ontario Ministry approval until April 30, 2008
April 20, 2008 ~ Completed 2 year update paperwork with Social Worker to exteng Ontario Ministry approval until April 30, 2010. Praying I do not need to extend it again!!!
January 15, 2009 ~ Applied for Part I of Hannah's Canadian Citizenship. Part II will be completed in Beijing!
February 28, 2009 ~ Passport Renewal applied for
March 12, 2009 ~ Part I of Citizenship approved!!
March 13, 2009 ~ Passport arrived. Good for another 5 years!
August 21, 2009 ~ HANNAH CATHERINE XIAOFEN'S REFERRAL!!!!!!!!!
August 29, 2009 ~ Saw my sweet daughter's face for the very first time!!!
September 12, 2009 ~ Open Arms Travel meeting. We're leaving for China October 29th and Hannah will be in my arms on November 2nd!!!

Disney Trip - Day 2 (Sun. Dec 11) Part I

After a good night’s sleep on Saturday night (11 hours!) we were ready for our first full day...and we do mean FULL! What better way to begin then dining with the Princesses? Rebecca donned her Jasmine outfit (thanks Jasmine B!) and we were ready to begin!
If you haven’t dined Disney style then it’s something you might want to do if you ever get the chance! We arrived at the Norway Pavilion in Epcot about 20 mins early for our 10:10 reservation. Soon after leaving our name we were summoned to the dining room...,’Announcing the Royal reservation of Ryan - Party of 2.’ Oh what fun! We were assigned a personal hostess who stayed with us, answered any questions we might have, offered to take pictures and introduced us to Belle who was wearing her golden ball gown. She signed autographs and posed for pictures with a wide-eyed, excited 6yo! We’d never seen Belle in her ball gown before!
During our breakfast of fresh fruit, Florida orange juice (yumm!), fresh baked goods, scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage and hash browns we were visited by Mulan, Mary Poppins, Princess Aurora (Sleeping Beauty) and Snow White! Talk about dining with Royalty! Each princess visited the table, signed Rebecca’s autograph album, talked with her and posed for pictures. Such fun!

After breakfast we headed over to ‘The Land’ and took in Epcot’s new hit attraction, ‘Soarin’...WOW!!! It’s a must see if you’re at Disney. We’d picked up Fast Passes before going for breakfast so didn’t have to wait in the hour+ line to get in. Gotta like that! Soarin’ is a ride where you feel like you’re hang gliding over California - the orange groves (complete with the smell of oranges), beautiful rivers surrounded by fir trees, the ocean and of course, Disneyland. Rebecca didn’t like this ride but I think she kinda freaked herself out before we even got in line. She did peak a little at the end but quickly decided it was not a ride she wanted to do twice. Oh well, there’s always next trip...whenever that may be.

Soarin’ was followed by a cookie baking opportunity for Boo, hosted by Nestle. Figured since she’d ridden Soarin’ for me it was my turn to do something for her. We also rode, ‘The Land’ and saw some really neat things. Imagine...plants growing without soil, pumpkins shaped like Mickey Mouse and 1 tomato plant that had thousands and thousands of little tomatoes on it! We also had an opportunity to meet a few characters at the new, ‘Character Connection’ at Epcot. Boo was still pretty timid but did meet Mickey, Minnie, Pluto, Donald plus Chip and Dale. She didn’t always want them to touch her but they always complied and took pictures near her, rather than touching her. A ride on ‘Spaceship Earth’ was our last adventure at Epcot that day.

Next, we did some shopping at Downtown Disney and found cute matching Minnie Mouse Christmas hats that we would wear for the majority of the week. Well....I wore it most of the week but after a few day’s Rebecca changed alliances and her hat was worn backwards as a Mickey hat! After shopping we headed back to the room for a bit of a rest. It was about 4:30 by this point but we still had much fun in store for us! ‘Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas Party’ was on tap for the evening...but that’s another entry at another time.

Happy New Year!

2006! Wow! Wasn't it just yesterday we were stocking up food and water just incase things didn't go as planned when we welcomed in the year 2000?

2005 was an exciting year in my life and if you're reading this, you probably know why. It was in January 2005 that the Lord laid it on my heart to begin the adoption process of a precious baby girl from China. It was an emotional year and one where I was reminded that I need to truly rely on God and leave everything to Him. He is my Saviour, guide and friend and I am continuing to trust Him as He leads me into a new role that I welcome with open arms; the wonderful world of Mommyhood! Will it be in 2006? Only the Lord knows. He knows the year, month, day, hour, minute and second that Hannah and I will meet face to (teary) face for the very first time! As excited as I am about this happening, I want it in His time and daily leave the adoption in God's hands asking Him to protect Hannah and love her for me until the day we meet. I don't know if she's born yet and I pray that if she's not, God will form her, protect her and also be with her precious parents. As I anticipate this most wonderous gift I can't help but ache for the selflessness of her birth Mom and Dad.

Lord, Please comfort and love the birth parents of this precious baby girl that you are preparing to be my daugher. Help them to know in some way that their daughter will be loved unconditionally and that they are appreciated and loved.

It's times like these that I find it so difficult to fathom what will happen and also must admit to feeling a little guilty at times. I'm so excited about this baby yet at the same time it means a woman who has lovingly carried this baby for 9 months will have to leave her not knowing her future. She won't know what happens to her daughter or that God has a plan for her life that includes a Mom and new life is half-way round the world. This birth mother needs a comfort that I cannot provide, but one that God can and I ask him to do so.

Will I become a Mom in 2006? I'll let you know....as soon as I hear! Trust me...I'll be shouting it from the rooftops...and telephone...and email.....and just about everyplace else too!

Happy New Year everyone! May God bless you and your family this year. May we all live for Him and share Him with those around us!