Thursday, March 23, 2006

My Heart in Beijing

Now this is going to sound silly but I've decided to write it anyway.

Since my file has gone to China I feel like a little bit of my heart is there too. Literally! It feels like there is a little gap that I didn't feel while working on my paperchase. At that time everything was in the future. Suddenly, everything is in the present and it feels so different...and so right! As last night's post mentioned, my beautiful baby girl may already have been born. I guess because of this I suddenly feel so different.

I've heard friends who said that they knew almost instantly when they were pregnant...they just felt pregnant and suddenly their world was totally new, totally different and totally right. I think that's what I may be feeling.

I guess for the first time in my life (any possibly the only time in my life so I'm going to enjoy it) I feel pregnant!!

I have a baby girl coming, and I don't have to worry about stretch marks and swollen ankles! What I do share in common with pregnant friends is sleepless nights. I wake in the night with a love in my heart so deep it almost hurts and my arms aching to hold her already.

Dear Lord, Please bring a special someone into Hannah's life who will love and care for her unconditionally until the day you bring us together. May she know love, comfort and security while she waits for Mommy in China. Amen
I read a post today from a Dad who is currently in China and met his daughter just a few short days ago. His post and those of many others I've read talk of how well the babies are cared for in the orphanages. What a wonderful blessing that is to those of us who have no control over the timelines. I know that an orphanage is far from the ideal place for a baby, but I also feel that the orphanages and nannies in China are some of the best in the world and for that I am very, very thankful!
Time to wrap this up. I think I'm craving chocolate! (As if that's anything new! ;o)


  1. Catherine that post was so beautiful!!!

    I can honestly say, I totally understand what you mean and feel the same way! Your little girl has stolen your heart already and trust me....that only gets worse as they grow!!

    Love reading your thoughts!

    God bless,


  2. Doesn't sound silly at all! Being a Mom means you wear your heart on the outside of your body...welcome to Motherhood =) You are going to be a terrific Mom.



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