Sunday, August 15, 2010

Far Too Quickly the Time Has Come…

…for Mommy to return to work. :o( How did that happen? Where have the past 9 1/2 months gone? I will be forever grateful to a government who recognizes the importance of a baby spending time with their parents when they’re first adopted or born yet, being totally honest, part of me is ticked right now that adoptive parents are not granted the same leave as birth parents are. Sure my body didn’t need to heal from giving birth to a child but my precious little lamb’s heart and security were rocked when everything and everyone she knew was removed from her life when she was placed in my arms in China. I hope that this will inequality change in the future and that soon adoptive parents will be granted the same maternity leave as birth parents are. Until then, I can only dream of what another 4 months home with Hannah would have been like. *sniff* I am thankful and forever blessed to have had this amazing time at home with Hannah! We’ve played, sang, read, baked, attended music classes and swimming lessons, played with a whole bunch of friends and SO much more. I won’t for one moment regret the time we spent together as we made the most of every single day. Even quiet pyjama days at home were times of cuddling, reading and getting to know one another. Thankful…oh so thankful!!!

Tomorrow I will do something I’ve rarely done since October. I’ll set the alarm. Yuck!! One of our most precious times each day have been our quiet mornings together just hanging out on Mommy’s bed spending precious time together. Just the two of us before any outside influences were introduced into our days. Oh how I will miss these times and oh how I will cherish Saturday mornings which will allow for these times to be treasured again!

Here are some pics of how we start our days. Ahhhhhh…..love it!!

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February 2010

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So tomorrow, our new normal begins….almost. This week Hannah’s daycare provider is on vacation so Hannah will be blessed to spend the week with her grandparents. Mom and Dad will arrive bright and early each morning to play with and entertain Hannah until I’m finished work. At that time I’ll race home, run in the door and scoop up my precious lamb and smother her with kisses while trying not the squeeze her too tight! Our evenings will be filled with everything she loves and all too soon I’m sure bedtime will be upon us and the same will begin the next day.

As I write this it’s Sunday morning and I work up feeling sick to my stomach that tomorrow at this time I’ll be getting ready for work and will have to leave her. Ugh!!! I’m very thankful for my job but hate that it means we will have to spend so much time apart from one another. In the past 9 1/2 months we have only been apart a handful of times and the longest being for 3 hours. Tomorrow is going to be hard! I just pray she knows that mommy will be back soon and that I will always, always come back. I can handle the separation (maybe not well but I can do it) but it’s Hannah’s tender heart that I ache for. Please pray with me that this time will not regress her attachment and that she will be secure in knowing that I will be with her again soon. Thanks!

Is it too early to say only 5 more sleeps until the weekend???

21 comments:

  1. I will be thinking about you tonight and tomorrow.

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  2. It is never too early to count the days until you can enjoy a lazy morning with your sweet girl. I'll be thinking of you and Hannah frequently throughout the week.

    Good luck!

    b and B

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  3. I'll be thinking about you tomorrow. Call me if you need to. I've been there many times!!!

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  4. I think that from what I have seen and read of you and Hannah she is going to do amazingly well. I think you have done an incredible job helping her feel safe and secure with you and she will know that Mommy will be back for her always. And how nice for you both to be able to ease into it with a week of grandparents!

    I will be sending you both lots of love tomorrow. I
    -Jen-

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  5. It's so hard. It gets easier as your routine becomes your new normal, but it's still REALLY hard for me to leave my kids!

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  6. Praying for you both, i think it will be harder on you. We need more Mommies like you. I can just see her big smile when you two see each other after work. Love that baby girls smile..

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  7. Hugs... It is hard but will get easier as time goes on.

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  8. Oh sweetie, the day is here... I've been dreading this week too. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow all day and you can call me anytime even if all you want to do is cry. Love you, and sending good wishes to you both.

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  9. Catherine, You are a wonderful mommy. There's no doubt in my mind that little Hannah will do fine. I am sure that she is securely attached and knows that her sweet mommy will ALWAYS come back. How wonderful that during your first week back to work Grandma and Grandpa will be caring for your precious girl. A perfect transition for both you and Hannah.

    I'll be praying for you BOTH today. Big hugs to you, Catherine.

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  10. I know how hard this is :-(
    I hope things will go as well as can be expected. Thinking of you both!

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  11. first, it is hard, going back. i only had 11 weeks (yep, welcome to the USA) with E before returning to work- max you can take is 12 (and i had one off prior to leaving due to my heart problem). second, i hope you find a new balance and happiness at this different pace. i suspect you will and new rituals will be born- coming home and saying bye, etc. lastly- it is NEVER too early to say 5 sleeps until the weekend!!

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  12. Hannah will be fine, thanks to all of the good work you have done with her since she was placed in your arms in China. Try and remember that when you worry that she will have a difficult transition. Like moms who wave good-bye to their kids when they enter preschool or kindergarten, the hardest transition is for the mom, not the child. Think about all the wonderful things you have done to prepare her for the separation. She is very lucky.

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  13. How can one possibly have so much cuteness in one post!!! LOVE the photos! Hugs for your journey back to the daily grind!!!

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  14. She'll be fine! I am so envious of the time you had with Hannah. I got zero leave. I had 2 weeks of vacation to use and then had to take unpaid Family Leave. Because I couldn't afford to take unpaid leave (since I assumed I would get the same that birthmothers get- 6 weeks paid- yes, that's weeks, not months)I had to work half time from home, which meant nights and weekends for the max time I could take, which in my company was 12 weeks. But I essentially worked the whole time. Very exhausting. I would have done double back flips for 9.5 months! I will say this, my Abby's learning and skills really took off once she started school/daycare. Some things they just learn faster from seeing other kids doing them...
    Hugs to you!

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  15. Catherine,
    My mommy and grandmother heart goes out to you. Please know that I'll be praying and praying and then praying some more for you and your sweet Hannah!!

    Catherine, you are such a terrific mother and I just feel in my heart that Hannah will be fine. Someone else said that children learn alot from other children. I think this will be true in Hannah's case. She seems very outgoing from your blogs.

    Please, please let us know how it goes that first day as I'm sure we'll all be on tenderhooks waiting to know!

    Much Love and many prayers headed your way!!
    Miss Lila in Atlanta
    Ilana, Sadie & Ruby (granddaughters)

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  16. Good luck with the transition. I am also returning to work in less than a month, but I have been home for
    3 1/2 years! I feel your pain and anxiety and pray it goes well for us both.

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  17. As I'm sure you know, it's similar in the States, where adoptive parents get far fewer weeks than parents who give birth. We get a whopping 6 weeks of disability pay (about 2/3 normal pay) and that's it! 6 freaking weeks!!! Thank God we also have a Federal tax credit or quite honestly, I wouldnt have been able to be off another 2 months without pay....there was so much bonding left to do. 6 weeks is absolutely nothing, really. You are very fortunate....but then you already know that.

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  18. Hope that your day passed quickly, without too much heart ache and that Hannah was super excited to see you when you returned home.

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  19. I think it's really wonderful you get nine months! Here, in the US, it's usually 6 weeks and doesn't matter whether it's a birth or adoption. Canada is so great on that!

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  20. I found your blog and am really enjoying it. I found your post about returning to work. Wow, living in the US I didn't know that Canada had such wonderful leave for new moms. I could feel your anxiety. My husband and I have 3 children a 24 year old son that was married last year. My first daughter came to us from S. Korea at the age of 5 months and our second daughter from Guangxi Province the age of 13 months. I work part time and with #1 I went back to work after a week and a half. With #2 I went back after 4 days and dealing with a traumatized baby and jet lag was the worst thing I've been through. I work part time so I didn't qualify for family leave. Whatever we get it is never enough for sure. Anyway, I am enjoying your blog. Thank you.

    Andrea

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