Tuesday, March 22, 2011

A crying shame: China's lost baby girls

This article brought me to tears more than once as I read and reread it today.

Some of what was written, others choose not to tell their daughters. I tell Hannah because I believe in my heart of hearts it is true. Hannah was loved by her birthmother and that is what she will learn from me now, and in the years to come. My heart tells me it's true and I believe it. She carried my daughter within her for 9 months, gave birth to her and then left her somewhere safe and warmly dressed, to be found. Yes, Hannah, your birthmother loved you and Mommy loves you more than I can express!!

The article reads, 'She assures adoptive children they were loved. “Your life is given to you by two mothers, you are lucky,” Xinran says. “Your birth mother must have been a good woman. (She was) against traditional rules . . . This is why you have a life. I want to give this message to the adoptive mother, too, how much Chinese moms want to thank you.”

That last sentence was one of many that caused the tears to flow. It has crossed my mind over the years of waiting and now home with Hannah, 'What would her Chinese Mother think of me taking her from China and raising her in Canada?' As much as I know this is the plan God has for Hannah and I, I've often wondered if her Chinese Mother would understand? Xinran has spoken to many, many Chinese women who gave their daughters up and to hear that these precious women are thankful for the adoptive moms, brings peace to my heart.

Even though Hannah just turned 2, I already talk with her about her Chinese mother. Most of this 'conversation' happens during our bedtime prayers as I pray for this beautiful woman (I know she is beautiful....Have you seen the amazing baby girl she gave birth to?!!) I pray for peace in her heart. A peace that only God can provide. I pray that He will whisper to her heart that her daughter is ok; that she is loved beyond measure and cared for and that she gave a gift unlike any other. First and foremost though, I pray for her salvation. May she have an opportunity to come to know Jesus as her own personal Lord and Saviour. I pray this for her sake but also if I were honest, I'd say it's for selfish reasons too. I have to admit part of this prayer is so that someday if not here on earth, then later in Heaven, I could watch the precious reunion between a mother and a daughter.

The reunion of a baby girl who was blessed beyond measure to have not just one mother, but two!

17 comments:

  1. Catherine, this brought tears to my eyes. I am the Grmother to a precious 5 yr. old from China(she was 10 mths old). I also am blessed beyond what i could ever imagine having her placed in my life. I just want to say what a wonderful person you are. I dont have to meet you to see that, it is revealed from your heart and it shows daily. Hannah is so precious, and to teach her about her birth Mother shows what kind of a caring, loving, thoughtful person you are. I join you in praying for the birth mothers, and one day i feel they will be reunited in heaven, i truly want to thank her for what she gave to me, she is a gift from God. Your Hannah is adorable, i love reading your blog, God Bless your little family !!

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  2. Catherine, you must read her book, Message from an Unknown Chinese Mother. I am reading it right now and while it is a tough read, I think it is important. It really sheds light on some of the unknowns and the incredible sacrafices made by Chinese women. Have some tissues handy.

    All our daughters are so incredibly blessed, as you said, to have two mothers who love them. You are an awesome mommy!

    Stace

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  3. Catherine, this story has made me love my daughter, Ella XiaQing, so much more tonight. I am in tears reading that and I can't stop thinking about it. I have only been Ella's mommy for 7 months, but I have thought about her birthmother for years. We are so blessed and fortunate to be the parents of these amazing children.
    Thank you for sharing that link.
    Jennifer

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  4. :) what an amazing reunion that will be....

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  5. You should definitely read her book: Message From An Unknown Chinese Mother. Wow! It will just bring many more tears to your eyes. This is a must read for every China AP

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  6. The line that got me was, "Message from an Unknown Chinese Mother". If they can only know that these beautiful baby girls of theirs will grow up so loved and cherished and with every opportunity. I so hope that some how these mother's can know that.

    I think that one day my daughter will come to me from China. I hope that I will be able to help her understand how loved she is from both of her mothers.

    Thank you for sharing this. I am going to read Message from an Unknown Chinese Mother.

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  7. I read this in the Saturday paper - I actually posted about it in the forum on RQ - I REALLY want to read her books. Although extremely sad I enjoyed the article, I loved to hear her perspective.

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  8. Can this book be found at any book store, i would love to read it?

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  9. Anon-I believe you can order her book on Amazon.com. I checked it out of my local library, but I think I will wind up buying it since I want my daughter to read it someday.

    Stace

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  10. This is a great article. Hard. Def. want to read her book.

    Keep smilin!

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  11. It is so very sad to read....I have ordered the book. How hard it must be to give up a baby & always wonder where they are.

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  12. Anonymous, I've checked and it's available either at Amazon.ca (Canadian) or Amazon.com (US) The name of the book is, 'Message from an Unknown Chinese Mother' by Xinran. I'm going to place an order for one today myself as I know this is a book I'll want to have in my collection.

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  13. I checked it out on Amazon, too, and found two other books I want to order. One is also by Xinran, "The Good Women of China", and another by Kay Bratt, "Silent Tears: A Journey of Hope in a Chinese Orphanage". I also found a DVD that I'd like to watch, "Found in China".

    Thanks so much for sharing this article. I share your view concerning how I talk about Caroline's birthmother.

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  14. There is no doubt in my mind the 3 of you will be reunited. NO doubt at all.

    Thanks for posting the link - it was difficult to read - but, so greatful I did.

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  15. Just commented twice on Donna S blog right after you, so I followed a link to you. Just added myself as a follower as well.

    I need to read this. Claire's birthmother has been so heavy on my heart lately.

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