Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Having a tough day...

Hey friends. I know this blog is normally an 'up' and encouraging place and I love that but I also have rough, tough days and this week seems to be filled with those. You know the kind of days when everywhere you look you see bellies full of babies? I'm so happy for these ladies yet at the same time I need to allow myself to be open, honest, vulnerable and say that my arms are aching today to hold my daughter. I love celebrating with those receiving their referrals too (and there seem to be so many right now, Praise God!) but oh how I long for the day when God says, 'Meet your daughter. I've created her especially for you.' I know that she will be worth the wait but I'll be honest that these 3+ years of waiting can be really, really tough at times. Holding tight to Jesus and asking Him to wipe my tears, of which there are many right now. Someday it will be my turn!

O LORD, you are my God;
I will exalt you and praise your name,
for in perfect faithfulness
you have done marvelous things,
things planned long ago.

Isaiah 25:1

I would appreciate your prayers friends. I know I'm not alone in this wait and please be assured that I'm praying for you too. If you're stuggling with the wait and would like me to pray for you specifically about this, please feel free to leave a comment or email me. It is a pleasure to bring others before the Throne of Grace.


  1. Sending you a BIG HUG from Alberta. I totally get where you're coming from. I know what you mean, you're happy for those who are expecting but you want it to be your turn too after waiting for so long.

    We all have days when we get down, and that's ok too. Just remember you have someone in Evil Alberta thinking of you and missing you more than you know.

  2. Cathy, had no idea you were having a rough day - but go check out my blog post of moments ago.

    Praying for you! I can't imagine the ache of your empty, longing arms, but I know God holds you in His.
    Great things come to those who wait.
    Love & prayers,

  3. Hugs to you my friend. I will definitely be praying for you today. I really wish there was some way to speed this journey up. May the Lord fill you with His strength and presence today! (((more hugs)))

  4. Cathy hope you are feeling better today!!!! You are allowed to have a bad day!!! Spoil yourself for once!!! get some chocolate!!!!

  5. oh catherine, i'm sorry you are having a rough time. i go through patches like that and i'm nowhere near the wait you've had. i wish i could send you a big gigantic hug. i keep praying that things will turn more positive in the China process. It seems lately that International Adoption as a whole is taking hit after hit and it hurts. You are such a wonderful woman, you will be one amazing uplifting and loving mother.


  6. sending you the BIGGEST hug, dear friend.
    You are human, you are allowed to have these emotions - they are what make you human.

  7. Catherine,

    You are such a support to all of us out here and do so much to support the adoption community.

    You have my prayers and I am sending you a great big hug!

    I will be thinking of you lots today my friend. Chin up.


  8. You know my sweet Cath, that not only am I feeling the same but I am here for you. Thanks for listening and letting me be your friend and listen to you. Together, we will get there. Hugs!

    Keep smilin!

  9. I know that ache and yearning you are feeling, and I wish so badly I could do something to take it away. You will be united with your daughter and she will be perfect! Try to hang in there! Hugs from Georgia!

  10. I know how hard the wait is. Just hang in there...your turn is coming.

  11. These ladies are all right!! You are the most encouraging, uplifting, optimistic person I know!! Your strength and patience are sure a testimony to many!! :)

    I'm so thankful for you and our friendship! I'm sorry it's hard for you right now! I remember those "harder than normal" days too! They are nasty!

    It really is true though! You'll know every second of the wait was meant to be when you see your precious little girl for the first time!!! :)

    Love ya!!

    HUGS, Dawn.

  12. Oh sweetheart... sending big hugs and good thoughts. This long undefined wait is so hard. Nothing at all wrong with feeling the ache or talking about it, and you are not alone. xoxoxo.

  13. Catherine you are so allowed these days. I know the wait isnt easy...its sucks!! Know that I'm thinking of you and one day your arms will be wrapped around sweet Hannah....keep hanging in there!!


  14. Oh Catherine, I'm sorry you're having a rough week. I wish I could come and give you a big hug in person right now . . . not that it would help. Unfortunately I can relate to how you're feeling. Let yourself feel it and express your sadness - cry and get it all out and hopefully there will be brighter days ahead. You're in my thoughts and prayers my friend.

    Love ya.


  15. YOu expressed the feelings I have had for the longest time. Some days are tearful, some days are tolerable.

    I pray each night to keep out babies safe and loved. I will specifically ask for you and Hannah.


  16. I so very much understand, friend.

    I am sending you a hug. That's how we can help hold each other up during the rough times.

  17. It is hard and being honesty and allowing yourself the ability to be vulnerable is part of the process. God has a plan and it is perfect plan just you and Hannah. It is not alway easy and filled with simple answers, but it is perfect. You are one of the most encouraging and uplifting persons, so I hope that you will allow yourself to cry and even be angry, we all get that way and then look at all the lives you have touched through the wait. I think that you will be amazed. Lean on all of us who love and adore you, and pray. Know that God is waiting and he had the perfect child just for you - no other will do. You are in my heart and prayers.

    Ladybug hugs,

  18. You can't always be strong. But it's comforting to know that you have your faith and the support of everyone here to raise you up when you are down.
    Sending you a big hug my friend!! And I truly believe this is your and Hannah's year.

  19. I am so sorry that you are having a tough day.

    Big hugs to you...

  20. You know I love you so much, Catherine and I know, so deeply, the longing to which you refer. I wish so much that I could snap my finger and place your daughter in your arms...I wish I could do that for all of us. It makes no sense that so many of us have to wait so long for the family that we know we deserve.
    Sending you the biggest hug I possibly can. Love you.

  21. I have to admit that it happens to me each time I go to our Waiting Families group and someone has brought home their daughter. Know that we think of and pray for you. Looking forward to the day when we can ride Dumbo with Hannah & Joanna Mei.

  22. I'm so sorry you're having a tough day. It unfortunately happens to all of us during this long, interminable wait. We WILL get there, one day.

    Sending you a huge hug.

  23. How does that saying go?

    Good Things come to those who wait and you are SUPER GOOD!

    Big Hugs and the next time we meet a TIM'S is on me (Stupid Roll Up The Rim Game)

  24. Praying for you as you wait and wait and wait.

  25. I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough day. It happens to all of us at one point or another. So don't feel bad at all. It's normal. That's what we're all here lift each other up when we're feeling down. There's no way I would've made it this far without the support of friends like you. I love you, C!

  26. So sorry that you're having a rough day. I know all too well how much it hurts waiting and waiting. Sending big hugs your way.

  27. Oh sweet Catherine...know we're praying for you today. The wait can be sooooo cruel, and unless you're one of those waiting, you don't have any idea. I hope the encouragement from all these comments can give you even a small lift today...because you have been such an encourager to us through the wait.

    Hang in there!

  28. Your feelings are totally understandable! I wish there were something I could say to make you feel better, but somedays are just tough.

    You are right to keep waiting on and trusting the Lord. He's going to richly reward you for your faithfulness.


  29. I am so sorry you are having a bad week. But you are entitled to have those emotions!

    Sending lots of hugs your way!

  30. Sending BIG hugs your way!!!

    You're certainly entitled to your bad days. This wait is crazy, and I just don't know what I'd do without you & all the others out there that are waiting with us.

    Hoping all these wonderful comments will lift your spirits...and praying for this wait to end soon!

  31. Your day is coming!!! and the bad days will be forgotten...When you are holding Hannah in your arms , you will not remember these bad days and the hugs will be so much sweeter and your joy more complete. Wish I could take the bad times away for all the waiting Moms and make it better..Hugs to You and Prayers for a speed up......Linda

  32. I thought of our daughters pastor when I read your entry. They prayed for years for children and finally felt led to adopt. A few months before they "gotcha" Mia they gave birth to Bri. Now just a few months after Mia they are pregnant again. You just never know what God will do. They certainly understand waiting.
    So glad He knows the perfect day for the two of you to be united. Praying He comforts your heart while you wait.

  33. Hey Cathy,

    The waiting can be very difficult, that is for sure! Know that you have many people supporting you and praying for you! Me included!

  34. I smiled inside reading this, knowing that when your day comes you will be the most happiest of happy people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting.

    But right now, while you're feeling that ache, I will pray not only that it be filled with the WEIGHT of Hannah soon, but that it opens you up to loving your baby that much more, with each passing day. That ache is a reminder of the love that continues to grow inside you. I know because I feel it too- it's amazing, in a way, isn't it? And maybe Christ won't wipe your tears when you expect, but I do know He'll be the first to sit with you and offer His shoulder.

    Praying for you...

  35. Oh Catherine I know exactly how you are feeling - I think there are about 6 people at my work pregnant, 2 on Mat leave etc... everyone around me seems to be getting on with their lives and their children and for us it just only seems to get further and further away. I don't know if I will be able to survive another 3 years on top of the two I have already waited?

    The only thing that keeps me going is you and the other MIW, it gives me such comfort to have other people around me going through the same thing, I hope you are feeling better tomorrow and I will definetly pray for you and you for me (please)!!

    If you ever want to get together for a visit or need someone to call I am here and would love to see/talk to you!!


  36. Catherine...just started reading your blog a couple of months ago. Wanted you to know that, even though our stories are a bit different and our wait...while much longer than we anticipated...wasn't nearly as long as yours, I know the ache of waiting. And some days it seems endless. You're almost there! I pray that the wait speeds up...and ALL things are possible for those who trust in Him!

  37. BIG BIG hugs for you!!! It's sooo hard.

  38. My dear sweet Catherine, I am so sorry today has been tough for you. I do not have any words that will fill the void you feel because Hannah is not here yet. What I know is when I have trusted when I felt discouraged; God honored my faith. I know that your faithfulness will be honored. You have been a beacon of light and hope for many people, even when you struggle. I wish I was there to hug you. Praying that tomorrow is better.

  39. Big Hugs To you Catherine. Hang in there!

  40. Sending you many hugs!!! Keep the faith!

  41. Long time reader of you. It's okay to have a bad day. You've got tons of e-hugs and if only our wishes could make it better.

    Hang in there....


  42. Wallow in your down day, Catherine. Sometimes it feels good to allow ourselves to grieve for things lost and one of the things we've lost is not having a big round belly full of baby and all the attention and care that goes with it. Who says we have to feel up all the time? By feeling down now and then, it makes the good times even better. The downs still feel terrible, though, and I'm sorry you're feeling this way right now.

    When I have days like this, I go to all the baby stores I can, especially those stores where I'm recognized as being a mom in waiting so I get some care and attention as an expecting mom. I don't even have to buy anything and I'm still treated well.

    Another thing I'd like to do but haven't been brave enough to do because it seems a little weird, it go to a town where I won't be recognized and put a pillow up my top so I look pregnant and see how I'm treated then while visiting all the baby stores.

    This makes me think of a funny thing...What if a ton of us waiting moms met in a strange town, all in maternity clothes with pillow-babies, and converged on the baby stores. Can you imagine in an upscale store the kissing up that would occur as the sales associates envision dollar signs? It could be like a scene from Pretty Woman!

  43. You wouldn't be human if you didn't have days like that. Sending prayers and good thoughts your way!

  44. I am so sorry that the wait has gotten so long and that it gets tougher and tougher for those in the queue. Big hugs to you my friend and when you do finally hold Hannah you will know that she was the one meant just for you.

  45. It's perfectly normal to have rough days. This wait is hard and there is nothing we can do to speed the process up. Hannah will be home day....

    Hugs to you.

  46. Oh Catherine you are not alone we are all in this journey together. Even those of us that have now received our referral the memory of waiting is still fresh and we are waiting for all of you our bloggy friends to get your referrals.


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