As I have been preparing for Hannah to come home I have been researching the importance of Attachment and some of the things that I can do to help Hannah learn to trust me. By the time we meet she will have lost her birth mother, her nannies/foster mother and now I'm on the scene and her heart will require a lot of healing to learn to trust again. How does she know that I'm not going to leave her too? I know this, but she doesn't.
This article is SO well written and helps adults understand a little of what Hannah will be feeling and experiencing. Please take the time to read it if you are adopting or, if you are family or friend of someone adopting. It will help you understand why parents MUST parent their adopted child differently than a birth child. There will be times I'm sure that people won't agree with my choices but all I ask is that you please respect my choices. I'm doing what I feel will be best for my baby girl and myself. I know I'll make tons of mistakes but want to do what I can to meet her special emotional needs.
One of the things I will do is carry Hannah as much as my body will allow me to. My cousin bought a Baby Hawk as a gift for Hannah and I and I know that it will get a ton of use. I've been convinced of the benefits of carrying her for quite a while now but my time in CA visiting M3 and the girls reaffirmed this more than any book or CD possibly could.
M3 was showing me the Ergo that she and Tuba Dad used in China when they met the girls. It's now almost 3 years later and the girls are busy, fun, active and love to move, move, move! When M3 brought the Ergo out and I started to put in on, Ro immediately asked if she could go in it? That was fun and she was quite content to be in it. What surprised me, gave me goosebumps and brought tears to my eyes was when not once or twice but THREE TIMES (over the course of wearing it on two different occasions, 2 different days) little Ro reached up and calmly placed her hand on the side of my face and gazed into my eyes!!! If I had any questions about how much good wearing Hannah would be, those questions were washed away with the tears that filled my eyes as Ro and I shared these precious moments together.
Another great attachment resource that comes highly recommended from many, many friends who are home with their children is Nancy Thomas' 'Taming the Tile While It's a Kitten' CD series. I've listened to it once and will listen to it a few more times before travelling to China. Nancy recommends wearing our children a minimum of 6 hours a day for the first 6 weeks that we're home. Yes - the Baby Hawk will get a lot of use as will the sling I'm also hoping to have for Hannah. I'm pretty sure Grandma has this one taken care of. ;o) Thanks Mom and Bridget! Your gifts to Hannah will be precious parts of our initial bonding time and they are gifts that will produce a lifetime investment!!
Wow! After years of reading and learning it's so neat to think of how close my sweet baby girl is! I was at the doctor today and he asked when I thought I'd be in China and my answer was 10 weeks from now. TEN WEEKS!!!! Wheee!!!