Friday, January 11, 2008

3 Years Ago Today...

...as I was on vacation in Vancouver, BC and sat in a hotel room, I was having my quiet time with God. I was praying for family and friends at home, Sharon who had recently left the hotel to go to work and I was asking God to reveal the plans He had for my life. What a day that was to be a God made clear the plans He had for my life!

On January 11, 2005 God showed me that I would adopt a baby girl from China. It was a still small voice in my heart but very much there! I knew that this is what God had for me and I was so excited! In that moment, the baby that I had prayed for for as long as I could remember changed from having blonde hair to beautiful raven black hair and almond shaped eyes! She didn't have a name yet but I knew that someday I would be mommy to a daughter from China.

You can imagine the surprise Sharon received when she returned home from work that night and I excitedly told her that I was going to adopt a baby girl from China! Ummm...probably not what she thought I'd be telling her after being gone only 8 hours! :o)

I called Mom and Dad the same day and they were onboard 100% from the very beginning! Mom even shared that this is something she had prayed about for me but had never mentioned to me. How neat to think that God was already working in Mom's heart and prayers even before I knew what His plans were!

That week as I was in Vancouver I began to seek out information on the Internet. There was a little Internet place across from the hotel and I spent many, many hours in there. I found out that there were 3 agencies in Ontario who did adoptions from China but when I contacted each of them the news was the same and it was not good. As a single I would need to go on a singles waiting list and currently the wait to get onto the waiting list was 3-5 years! That was tough to hear! You can imagine my delight and excitement when just 2 1/2 weeks later I was once again speaking with Deborah at Open Arms and she said that she had room for me on her singles waiting list!! God had opened the first of many doors to allow the adoption to proceed and, much sooner than I had understood it would. She told me that the wait to begin my paperchase would probably be about 10 months but guess what...only 4 months later (the day before my birthday) Deborah told me that I could begin my paperchase! What a birthday gift that was!! Another door opened and another blessing poured out!

In preparing this post I've taken a look back over the notes that I kept in my devotional journal at the time. Much of what was written 3 years ago is still very applicable today.

In February 2005 I wrote,
'Sometimes when delays come with the adoption I wonder what I can do to speed up the process. Instead, I need to trust God that my paperwork will go to China at exact the perfect time for the daughter I has chosen for me.'


I still believe that my file was logged with CCAA on March 23, 2006 for a reason. That is the exact day that it should have been. Not a day sooner, nor one day later.

I don't remember the exact date that my precious baby girl became 'Hannah' but sometime in either February or early March 2005, Hannah she became. As a girl in my teens and 20's I remember a slip of paper I kept on my dresser with possible names that I would name a child in the future. I don't remember Hannah being on that list but I do know that the baby girl I wait for is Hannah.

In March, after having chosen her name, my devotional book studied the life of Hannah. It was amazing how Hannah's story paralleled my own. Hannah knew that if her barrenness was to end, it must end by the hand of God. As a single woman who believes that sexual relations are for within marriage, having a child of my own is not possible in the natural way. Rather than give birth to a child, God has chosen to allow me to become a mother by bringing my life together with a child that He is preparing on the other side of the world.

My prayer on March 22, 2005 is the same today as it was when I wrote it down then:
'Dear Lord, I thank you that you have layed on my heart the desire to be a mom. I give this desire back to you. May you bring it to be in your time. I lay my adoption at your feet. I thank you for the peace you have brought about this decision. I will follow you completely and allow you to decide when this adoption will take place in the future. I trust you and I love you. Amen'


Being perfectly honest with you friends, the past few days have been very difficult ones. Little things add up to a lot. CC*AA's decision to take down the information box from their homepage was a surprise. We were told 14 months ago that this would happen but I was lulled into a sense of security when month after month it remained and was updated. It's not a bad thing that it's gone, just a surprise that needed to be dealt with in my heart. The lengthening wait times and unknowns of the upcoming Olympics are also challenging some days.

But, today I am thankful to read back over God's leading each and every step along the way. Just reading my journal and being reminded of what I felt as He layed Hannah on my heart has given me renewed strength to continue the journey to my precious baby girl. God is leading and I'm following Him each and every step of the way. God is good!!

34 comments:

  1. Welcome back. It has been a rough week and you reflecting on your 3 year anniversary of when your life changed, reaffirms so much for me too. So happy to be sharing this good and bad with you.

    Love ya!

    Keep smilin!

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  2. Too true.

    We believe the same thing. Even my husband is starting to get very frustrated with the increasing wait, and no answers. (this is Mr "It'll all happen God's time and we'll get the perfect baby for us"!!!) I reminded him, of what he has constantly told me over the last 2 years.

    We'll wait as long as it takes.

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  3. You are an amazing inspiration and such a blessing in our lives my friend.

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  4. What a great post..thanks for sharing your story

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  5. Great post Catherine. You will inspire many waiting moms and dads with this post. What a gift!


    *Smooch* You are going to be an amazing Mom!

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  6. What a wonderful look back and forward. You will be a great Mom.

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  7. Yes, He is good, and we have to trust in Him. I am so happy to read your posts and am so thankful for your faith.

    Hugs!

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  8. Cathering, this post gave me chills. I think you and your faith are so very inspiring...

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  9. Your faith and continously optomistic point of view are truly inspirational. I admire your positive energy.

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  10. What an inspiring post on so many levels! I truly believe it will happen for all of my blogger friends and I continue to pray each day for the waiting moms and children.

    Blessings to you as you wait on God's timing.

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  11. You continue to amaze me Catherine! What a wonderful and inspirational post. I am blessed to call you a friend.
    You are going to be one awesome Mom!

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  12. It's amazing how we know what path to follow. Thanks for sharing your story.

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  13. Love you friend!! You have NO IDEA how much I can not WAIT till you have little Miss Hannah in your arms!!! Oh Happy Day!!! :)

    I love our friendship and your love for God!! Bless you!!!

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  14. what a phenomenal post! I love hearing your story of how God has worked..and will continue to work to bring you to Hannah in His perfect timing. Thank you for sharing.

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  15. Hey you. I just got home and thought I'd check the bloggin' world. I read this post and thought, "yep, that's why I love that girl". You are so positive and upbeat and so honest and open. What a great post reflecting on the past three years and how you can see God's hand in it all. Thanks for sharing that. I'm so happy that God has chosen you to be Hannah's mom and I'm so happy that God chose us to be friends. It was great to see you again tonight. See you soon.

    k

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  16. Welcome back! Isn't the way God communicates to us great. It is so wonderful how He knows what we need. Thanks for sharing your beautiful experience.

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  17. Glad you made it back safely. Hope you had a lot of fun on your trip.
    I so enjoyed reading your story. It is so neat to see the way God works in peoples lives. I, too felt drawn to Hannah in the Bible and thats why we named our daughter Hannah. God will get you through this long wait. It is hard, but He is there for you. You are right God is good!

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  18. Catherine, I hope to meet you one day soon. I feel like our lives are a parallel. It's so wonderful for me to be able to read your experiences with God and your faith in His plan for you. I, too, feel His love and have great faith and confidently follow His plan for me. Thank you for sharing and for being so candid.

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  19. A beautiful post and thanks for sharing with all of us. This last week has been stressful for all waiting families and reading your post of your faith and your attitude that all will be well in it"s own time is heartening. Thanks for sharing your beautiful feelings....Linda

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  20. Beautiful, just beautiful. Thank you for sharing this.

    Lea

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  21. Catherine I know it seems so far away, like a star you can't reach, but she is out there...it will happen, keep the faith, and hang on....

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  22. I so admire your strength and faith. This is a beautiful post. One day it will be a treasure for Hannah.

    Thinking of you!
    HUGS!

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  23. You are amazing. Your faith is SO strong (I waver so seriously at times). All I gotta do is swing by and visit you when times are low and the hope begins to renew.

    The wait is so hard...but there is much to be learned, appreciated and enjoyed during that time.

    Thank you for that post.

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  24. You know what, I don't think I've read a more beautiful post... ever.

    You are already the most incredible mom!

    Hugs to you my blog sister... and thank you for sharing your wisdom and strength with us, it's amazing... (and so are YOU!)

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  25. God bless you on this journey. Some days are tougher than others. Thank God for Him and for putting others in our paths as we walk along this path.

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  26. Your faith amazes me Catherine! Let your certainty in God's plan for you put a smile on your face during this interminable wait... knowing that your Hannah waits for you too!!!

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  27. It is all in God's perfect timing, isn't it. Happy 3 years!

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  28. Catherine, I gave you an award...come see

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  29. Big tears and hugs--- what a journey but at the end of it you will be holding Hannah and know that all is right in His time. Happy 3- thanks for being part of my journey.

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  30. *Still* loving this post my beautiful friend... :)

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  31. Thank you for sharing that with me. I totally need to screen what I am reading on blogs these days....need to surround myself with possitive faith filled people. Thanks for being one. ;O)

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  32. Catherine, you are such an amazing peron, such an amazing person... I am so moved by your words, your faith, your sense of purpose, and your belief inGod's timing. I have goosebumps reading this, and my eyes are filled with tears. I cannot wait to spend time with you again, drinking one very strong margarita (wink)... talking about Hannah, and the dreams we both share.

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