Last Friday morning the SW and I met for the 2nd homestudy visit. The first visit had been in many ways a trip down memory lane but this week's visit proved to be more emotionally draining and challenging although I see it as a good challenge. During this 3 1/2 hour visit we discussed at great length:
- my parenting plan
- how do I anticipate answering the questions my daughter will raise re: adoption, looking different from me and eventually abandonment
- unique challenges I will face as a single parent
- fertility issues (that was an easy one...no husband (yet) = no children!)
- initial thoughts concerning child care
- who will provide the much needed male role models for my daughter?
- what type of person do I want my daughter to grow up to be? How do I anticipate parenting in order to raise such a child?
- challenges I will face due to adopting a child internationally and from an orphanage
- attachment and bonding
- contingency plan re: finances
It was a good morning. I have done a lot of reading, researching and investigation regarding the above topics but so much will depend upon my daughter and her personality. I will take my cues from her.
I have used this past year and will continue in the upcoming year, to be as prepared as I can be for my daughter. I know that just like a parent who gives birth to a child, I'll never be totally prepared for the changes that will take place in my life. My responsibility is to learn as much as I am able to to help ease her transition and be prepared for questions and challenges we will face together in the future. I am particularly interested in learning as much about attachment and bonding as I can so that we can begin the attachment process (that will take a lifetime to accomplish) as soon as possible. I am preparing for my daughter for more than a year before I receive her but for her she will wake one morning just as any other and her precious little life will be turned on end as this new person walks into her life and takes her away from most everything that is 'normal' to her.
Because of this, I am praying and praying for this precious little life. God in His infinite ways can begin preparing my daughter for me. I don't know how this happens but I believe that He can. I pray daily for her and that somehow she will know that I'm her mom. That I will care for her, love her unconditionally and even though everything is changing for her, that she can trust me. This is only something God can do and I am asking Him to pave the way for my daughter.
I am also praying for her birth mother who probably in the near future will have to make the hardest decision of her life. I pray God will comfort this wonderful woman as she unselfishly gives her child into the care of another. I see this as an act of love. Knowing how much I want this precious baby girl I can't begin to imagine the pain this woman will go through when she gives up her daughter. Will you please pray for her with me? Thank you.
I want to take this time to thank you for caring enough to ask about the adoption, to read this blog that follows my journey and most of all for your prayers. I can feel the prayers that are offered up on my behalf and I am very, very thankful for those prayers. Thank YOU!