...I listen to a surprise baby shower for a coworker happening in the section next to my office.
It's lunch. All was quiet and I was enjoying catching up with some of my bloggy friends when suddenly I hear, 'SURPRISE!!!'
I sit here suddenly I realize something that is genuine and from my heart. A smile is on my face! I can't begin to tell you (although I know many of you can relate) to the number of times I cried on the way to a bridal or baby shower. Arrived in the driveway, freshened my makeup, took a few deep breaths, and pasted on a smile while I willed myself to walk to the door. I'd keep that smile on my face for the next few hours only to leave afterwards, get back in the car and cry my way home again.
Did this happen with every shower? NO WAY! (Very rarely in fact but still those times that it did I remember well.) There were many showers for friends and family that I smiled to, at and on my way home from. I was happy and excited for them but sometimes even though I was happy I still hosted a pre and/or post pity party for myself.
Guess what? I can finally allow myself to believe that someday I will walk into a room and rather than shouting, 'Surprise' I will be the one stepping back in shock and amazement (with a SMILE on my face!) that family and friends are celebrating with me! With me!!! Celebrating the new little life that God is bringing into my life. Celebrating Hannah!!!
So for now I wait....with a smile on my face!